Mercy and her "LoLo"

Mercy has this gift… she can wrap people, especially Ugandan males, around her little finger.  I don’t know if it’s her fabulous charisma, her twinkling eyes, or her piercing scream/cry, but she can have her way with people.  One of her victims, perhaps her biggest victim, is Lawrence, who Mercy affectionately calls “LoLo”.  Lawrence is a 15 year old boy that is in the midst of getting adopted.  Mercy and I met Lawrence, his adoptive mom (Carmen), and his big sister, (Val), back in December on the day I thought Mercy and I were leaving with a visitor’s visa.  I had heard about them online, and we arranged to meet up that day for a bit.  We talked a bit and I told them I was glad they could meet us on such a great day.  Then while all of us girls were getting pedicures I got the phone call that would rock my world…. Mercy’s visa was revoked and we would not be leaving.   Needless to say, I will always remember where I was the day I met Lawrence.  Lawrence’s family received legal guardianship of him in late December, but his mom had to travel back to the US to finish up some immigration paperwork.  So, Lawrence has been staying at the house with us.

Mercy got LoLo to walk her all over the beach

Mercy really loves Lawrence.  He gives her whatever she wants.  He’ll get a glass of water, she’ll look up at him longingly, and before you know it, Mercy drank all of his water.  He gets some food, he always shares with Mercy.  She wants to go outside, Lawrence will push her around in the toy car or on the tricycle.  He’s like her giant playmate.  And I think he kind of likes it.  When Mercy and I come back to the house, she’ll run to Lawrence’s room and say, “LoLo”?  He’s in the shower, and she’ll stand outside the door calling for him.  It’s adorable.  Last week, he got me in trouble at church.  Mercy was starting to act up, so I took her out and we were standing in the doorway.  But she realized that if she peered around the corner she could see LoLo.  He noticed too and started making faces at her, which led to her giggling, and got me dirty looks from the ushers.  And one of my favorites, Lawrence is convinced that Mercy is a happier child with her hair done.  We had to get it redone this week, and there was a couple of days in between taking it out and the new do.  Lawrence kept telling me that she missed her braids and would be much happier when she got new ones.  

Playing outside



LoLo thought Mercy needed to look cool, so he tied this napkin around her head. 
She left it like that for hours!

A couple of weeks ago he went to eat with me, Mercy, and Billy at the mall.  Afterwards we walked up to the new big playground.  He was so excited about going on the equipment with Mercy.  Later he told me that was his first time on a slide.  No wonder he was so excited.

Weee!



I’ve been trying to help Lawrence get ready for life in America.  His world is going to change tremendously.  So we work on learning the American English words for things instead of the British English. He cracks up over calling it a “bathroom” instead of a “toilet”.  Which really, if we’re not bathing in there why do we call it that? Why do we call them “pants” instead of “pant”, but “underwear” instead of “underwears”?  And did you know that in British English it’s a “ladybird” and not a “ladybug”?  Weird. We talk about different customs and cultural differences.  Can you imagine two teenage boys in America walking down the street holding hands? Ugandans often have some crazy ideas about life in America, so I try to clear up any misconceptions about our lives.  Even today, somehow we were talking about pets and he asked if it was true that some dogs in American can go to the store by themselves and buy something for you.  Someone told him that once. Where do people get these ideas from?  He’s learned to play Uno and Phase 10, and I helped him do his first word search.  He’s learned about bathtubs, washing machines, and microwaves.  And he’s getting used to some American food.  He really likes hamburgers and can’t wait to try out McDonald’s.  He recently tried ranch dressing, chicken pot pie made with biscuits, enchiladas, and iced tea.

Harriett showing Lawrence who is boss one day.  So funny!

Can you imagine taking in so many firsts as a teenager?  It’s got to be a bit overwhelming, but he’s done great so far.  He has a contagious laugh and always makes people smile.  And all of us love to hear Lawrence say “Oh yeah” and “Wow”.  He’s been a big help to some of the other families adopting. He often serves as translator or tour guide.  His new family will be blessed to have him as a part of their lives.  And I’m grateful we get to spend time with him in the meantime.  I love to see teenagers get adopted.  There are so many needing and longing for families and a place to feel loved.  I’m so glad for Lawrence that it’s not too late and he now has a real family.  But I hope that he’ll always be a part of our lives too. Mercy would be really sad without her “LoLo”.

And since you were all so interested last time, here's a couple of pics of Mercy's new do.

Bone Weary

Below is part of my devotional from Monday. This devotional has one reading for each day of the year. It always amazes me how well they correlate to just what I need on that day. It’s crazy how much this one matched up to my day… really my week.

Jesus said, “Come to me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.

Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.

This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not. Your desire to live in My presence goes against the grain of “the world, the flesh, and the devil.” Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents. However, you are on the path of my choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you again praise Me for the help of My presence.” -- From "Jesus Calling"

The Lord knows that I am “bone-weary” and I can be ashamed of my emotions and exhaustion. Monday morning everything sort of hit me. I was scared, worried, tired, angry, frustrated… you name it. I was done operating in any bit of my own power. I had nothing left. But I am so grateful that He has renewed by spirit a bit. I am taking each day one step at a time. Monday, He put great friends in my path to encourage me and make me smile and a great husband who knew just what to say. I had a mini-miracle in obtaining one piece of paper. And God reminded me that He is in control. But this fight is not over. We have more hard days ahead. I am glad we don’t have to fight alone. I arrived in Uganda 24 weeks ago today thinking that I would be in and out of the country within 6 weeks. Oh, how naive I was, but oh, how many thingsI have learned in this time, and oh, how Mercy has grown and advanced. You almost wouldn't know it was the same child. Lord, I am not giving up , but instead hoping in You.

Mercy in July



Mercy Sunday night making a fish face. love her.



Set the Captives Free

I never thought I’d have to write a blog post about setting captives free and that I would be referencing children. Last week I got to visit the children’s “rehabilitation center” where the ministry “Sixty Feet” and others are working. I have so many feelings about this place, even days later , as I’ve had time to process all of it.

Let me start off with a bit of background… Three years ago a Belgian woman named, Nathalie, stumbled upon this center. She had heard Ugandans mention it a few times and was curious to see what it was really like. This is the type of place that many parents threaten to send their kids when they are being bad. This center is about 45 minutes outside Kampala up on a hill. When Nathalie entered the compound she did not see anyone around. So she got out of her car and started snooping around. What she found was hundreds of children (ages 10 days to 18 years), naked, chained to the wall with collars around their necks, and standing in their own waste. She could not find an adult anywhere. She went home that night and told her husband that they either had to get on a plane the next day and go to back to Belgium or she had to do something. She chose to stay. She discovered that the workers at this center had not been paid by the government, so they saw no need to work, which is why the children were chained. The next day she brought them soap to clean, and then realized they had no running water. If the children were fed the food was just thrown on the ground. The children were imprisoned in the worse conditions with no hope of any rehabilitation.

Fast forward three years and the progress is remarkable. Now all of the children have clothes (one pair of pants and one shirt). They get fed one meal a day, usually porridge, which they eat out of bowls. They get to drink water from a cup. They have running water with showers and toilets, which were provided by “Sixty Feet”. One-third of the children attend school. Others are receiving vocational training. Every Thursday they have a worship service led by the children and Nathalie provides extra food, such as beans or rice. About once a week several nurses come by and do basic medical care fo the children. Approximately 30 of them that are true orphans have been set free and are now living in homes provided by Nathalie.

They now have indoor plumbing...



Boys cleaning the tiles around the sinks.

Cooking their special beans for the day... and washing dishes at the tap.



Sweet boy drinking his daily porridge.



Cleaning the kitchen

Who are these children? Most Ugandans believe they are the worst of the worse and are horrible criminals. In reality, Nathalie says about 50% of them were dropped off by their step-mothers. Culturally, stepchildren are not respected or loved and many are sent away for being “stubborn”. Some of the kids lived on the streets. Some may have stolen food because they were starving. Some may have committed some violence, but usually out of self-defense. A few others were children forced to be soldiers by the LRA in Northern Uganda. Some were simply dropped at the gate, including infants. Nathalie says out of 300 she would trust all but about 3 with her wallet. The children I met were beautiful, respectful, and well-mannered. In order to leave this “center” a parent has to come pick up the child or they turn 18. Many times the parents have no idea where the children are, so they never know to come and pick them up.


During our visit, we attended their weekly worship service. One young man that the children all call “Pastor” led the singing. It was a beautiful thing to watch and take part in and it was obvious how this young man got his nickname. The children sang with all of their hearts, danced, and praised the Lord. They thanked God for His forgiveness and for their many blessings. I cannot begin to tell you how humbling it was to see. Here are children surviving with one outfit, one meal of porridge a day, no shoes, sleeping three to a bed, and they are praising God for His provision. wow. Nathalie led a devotion on “WWJD” talking about how in every situation we need to think before we act and speak and consider how Jesus would handle that situation. She also talked about God’s forgiveness and how it is for everyone, no matter what they have done. Some of the children said they did not think God could forgive a murderer or a thief. She beautifully explained that God forgives all sin. Some of the children had formed a choir and they sang a song/poem they wrote for Nathalie. It blessed me so much to watch her expression as they sang about her and how much they loved her and all she had done for them. They told her they once had nothing, but now they had things of excellence. Seriously. She glowed with pride watching them perform. Her eyes glistened and told so much of her love for these children.

Drummers for worship... they were amazing!




Humbled to see their love and devotion during worship




And their joy in worship.  It was fun!



Nathalie listening to her song.



 On our way to the center we bought a toothbrush and toothpaste for each child and a giant bag of rice.  So after the service we met the kids outside to pass out the gifts.  They were so excited and very grateful.  Then we got to watch as Nathalie told them the biggest news of all.  A while back an American woman donated enough money to replace all of the mattresses at the center.  The mattresses were 22 years old and were covered in urine and bugs.  Nathalie told them that their new mattresses were on their way and that night they would get to sleep on them.  They were overjoyed.  And one of the employees at the center told Nathalie that we were spoiling the children.  Really, a toothbrush, toothpaste, rice, and clean mattress is spoiling?  wow.

Some of the kids showing off their new toothpaste!



The old mattresses out to dry for the day.



A couple of the women I was with are nurses.  So they did a mini-clinic and passed out basic medicines and patched wounds.  Wound-care is one of their number one needs.  The children often get cuts or sores on their feet and legs that get infection.  Some of them had very deep wounds, which by our standards would need stitches, but that day they got ointment, a bandaid, and love and prayer. 

bandaging wounds and hearts

These are children with no one else loving them… no one else fighting for them. And it is a fight. Nathalie works so hard to keep the trust and respect of the center’s leaders. She has to often work in “baby steps” so as not to offend. If she worked any other way, she could possibly get kicked out of the country or the center would just be closed, and then where would these children go. Instead she chooses her battles and prays for God to open doors, which He has done time and time again in the last three years. God’s provided funding. He’s opened impossible doors for children to leave the center and for some to even be reunited with families. He’s provided land for Nathalie to build a boys’ and a girls’ home for the orphans. He even allowed one boy the chance to go to college in the US on scholarship. How did these things happen? He used one woman who was willing to step out in faith and plunge into a job that was scary, smelly, and hard… really, really hard.


Nathalie told us the question that will get you over and over again at this place is “Why?”. Why are the children allowed a bowl, but not a spoon? Why are some allowed to go to school and others not? Why would you spend thousands of dollars renovating a building to be a stable instead of adequate space for the children? Why would you imprison a child for defending themselves from a rapist? Why does the government allow this place to exist? The questions could go on and on. But the tough part is there is no answer, or at least no easy answer.

I went expecting to be horrified at the conditions. And I was. But when hearing the story of where they were three years ago, you look at the place with perspective. Yes, the children need so much more. Yes, it’s horrific and asinine to hold children in such conditions. It seems crazy to think that such places exist in our world. Yet in the midst of this tragic place, God is working. He is working in the lives of these children. He is working in the lives of the people who work there. He is working in Nathalie’s life and that of her family. He is working in organizations like “Sixty Feet” that are coming alongside Nathalie. He is turning their ashes into beauty.


Speechless.



Nathalie trying to befriend the newest child to the center. 
He must spend time in an isolation room before allowed to interact with others.

Isaiah 61:1-3

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor.”

Nathalie is working on her own website and blog. The current one is in Flemish, which doesn’t do much good for me and you. She hopes to have it up and running in this next week.  Here is the link.  You may want to bookmark it now and check for when it's working.

A poem by Cody

UGANDA TOO MUCH DRAMA

or ODE TO TEMPORARY SINGLE PARENTHOOD

or HOW PLAYING MOM MAKES ME MORE OF A MAN

When Melissa to Uganda went,

for what we thought was an 8 week stint,

to single parenthood I was sent.

Uganda!

So household duties I undertook,

to wash, and clean, and sometimes cook,

without instructions from a book.

Uganda!

I’m wearing my beard like a manly man,

fuzzy and macho is what I am,

especially rolling in the mini-van.

Uganda!

At many of my ways Melissa sighs.

When we’re on Skype she rolls her eyes,

because toilet humor is on the rise.

Uganda!

“Time for school, go get ready!”

“Brush your teeth it’s time for beddy!”

“Dad, why’d you make four pounds of spaghetti?”

Uganda!

So many tasks, I will not fail,

I’ll perform them all ‘cause I’m a male,

except the dreaded ponytail.

Uganda!

Ugandan shops leave much to desire,

so we’ll mail some goodies to relieve her ire.

How big of a box does her dumb dog require?

Uganda!

I think of myself as rugged and rough,

of football and buffets I can’t get enough.

So could I be a mom? I’m not quite that tough.

Uganda!

When I’m with the Lord I thankfully pray,

for the chance to know my girls in a whole new way,

and when we’re all back together…what a beautiful day.

Uganda.

Not Our Day...

Geez, sometimes I absolutely hate having to fill you all in on the disappointing days.  Today was not our day.  We did not have an official hearing.  Instead the judge told our lawyer some of his concerns and asked for further documentation.  So, we are now scrambling to try to get these things done quickly and to his satisfaction.   I don’t know what all of this means.  I am frustrated and disappointed.   Please pray for us as we try to get these things accomplished in the next few days.   We need some divine intervention and some doors thrown wide open.

Our Big Day...

First of all, I had an amazing experience visiting “M” today and seeing the work of 60 Feet and the incredible woman, Nathalie, who stumbled upon this child prison and fights tirelessly each and every day for their rights and freedom. But this will definitely require a more detailed blog post than I have the time or energy for right now. I will say that it is mind-boggling the type of atrocities that go on in this world today unnoticed by most everyone. It is also mind-boggling what one woman can accomplish with a willing heart and complete obedience to the Lord. I promise to try to share more in the next day or two.

Tomorrow is our big day for court. To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’ve been quite busy this week, so I haven’t had a ton of time to sit and ponder it all, which is probably a good thing. We’ve been waiting since mid-October for this hearing. With all of the crazy things that have happened since then, it’s hard for me to believe that our case can really be heard tomorrow and much progress made. I’m not trying to a pessimist, but after all we’ve been through we’ve started to not really count on things happening until that exact moment. So, we are scheduled to have court tomorrow. I am hopeful that the judge will hear our case. We hope to find out when we can get a ruling and we would love for this to happen before elections here on the 18th. I am asking if you will join us in prayer for this hearing tomorrow. I am scheduled to be in court at noon tomorrow (**note new time**), which is 3 am CST. I know not all of you can wake up in the middle of the night to pray for us, but I would love it if you could lift us up as you go to bed. It still blows my mind to hear of the number of people around the world that know our story and continue to pray for us. Friend after friend tells me of co-workers, parents, cousins, etc. that follow our story and ask them for updates. Wow!! Thank you so much for thinking of us, praying for us, sharing our story, and supporting us these past 6 months. Specific prayer requests… pray for our case to be heard, for the judge to have a soft heart, for my lawyer and me to have the right words to speak, for Mercy to behave (why do they have family court right around naptime??) and for me and my family to be at peace no matter what tomorrow holds.

One other prayer request/shout-out today… I am praying and thanking the Lord for my darling, Avery Claire. She turns 6 years old today. I can’t believe how grown up she is becoming and I am so grateful for her, her snuggles, her laughs, her antics, and her carefree, loving, yet very independent spirit. She is a blessing and I can’t wait to see what God does with her in the years to come. It’s hard for this mama’s heart to be apart from my girl on her birthday, but I know Avery is getting extra love and care from her daddy, her teacher, and our dear friends. Mercy is truly blessed with two amazing big sisters.  Below is a picture of Avery in this week's "snowpocalypse".  As you can tell, there is never a dull moment with this child.  She cracks me up!

And I am thrilled to be able to tell you that because of your amazing generosity, I can now purchase not 100, but 196 Mama Kits next week.  WOW.  You people blow me away.  On behalf of the mamas of Uganda, thank you!!

Another day of blessing...

Yesterday was a great day. It was not easy, it was long and tiring, but I am so glad that I got to be a blessing to five adoptive families. I started off at my lawyer’s office. She briefed me a bit on the children I was going to visit. Then I got a driver and headed out to their neighborhood. First stop was the home of a woman ( I’ll call her “T”) who helps care for several children that will be adopted in the coming months. “T” is a community leader and works to help get kids off of the streets and to families. She is caring for two children. These children are waiting for their adoptive mom to come next month. I met these kids in December, shortly after they came to stay with this woman. I must say they look remarkably better, and I can tell they are getting good care. The little boy had been sick recently and his adoptive mom wanted me to check on him and see if I thought he needed to go to the doctor. Thankfully, he was doing much better. I just had to pick up some cold/cough syrup for him. I got to hang out with them for a bit, take some pictures, and love on them for their parents. Such a privilege!

From there, “T” walked me to the “home” of another child. This child stays in one of the worst slums in Kampala. The walk there was an adventure. It had rained yesterday morning and the roads were so muddy. We weaved in and out of vendors, animals, and children and somehow I did not fall down. Mercy and I really stood out in this crowd and we got asked many questions. We came to one point where “T” started to slow down. A crowd had gathered outside one of the shacks. She told me that a young woman died there that morning from a botched abortion. Family and friends were gathering to mourn the loss. On our way we watched as a police truck pulled up to retrieve the body and file a report. It was heartbreaking for me to watch what was probably an all-too-common experience for people in this slum. I saw tons of children walking around half-dressed, filthy, and sickly. Most of them should have been in school, but obviously their families could not afford to send them. I saw two of the most malnourished children I have even seen in Uganda. When an African child is malnourished their hair often turns lighter. These kids had hair almost blonde and big bloated tummies. One was naked and the other had on only a shirt. They sat playing in the mud, while people just walked around them never giving them a second thought. Heartbreaking! I can’t really share about the home of the child I was visiting. That is his family’s story to share, but it was not an ideal situation. I wished I could somehow take him from that situation right then. But all I could do was pray for God’s protection for him, pray for this process to move swiftly for him, and thank God for providing an adoptive family for him. As we walked out of that slum and back to my driver I kept thinking about all of the children living in that one small area. I wondered how many of them were hungry, sick, and without any one to love them. For me it was another powerful reminder of the great needs of people all around me. While here in Uganda, I stay in a nice house in a secure area. We have a guard, electricity, a refrigerator, microwave, hot water, and tons of food. Even in the midst of this third world country, it can be easy to forget the reality of those around me.

From the slum, I went back to the lawyer’s office. She wanted me to meet another family that had arrived just the night before. She told me they needed to talk to an American who could explain the whole process for them and help them find a good place to stay. So, I went to a very late lunch with this couple. Poor things were feeling a bit overwhelmed. They only had about a day’s notice to travel. They were totally jet lagged. They met their child for the first time at court. And they just needed some advice on the process. I was glad to be able to share lots of information with them. Anyone who knows me knows that I can be an information junkie and a bit of a control freak. During this whole adoption process I’ve soaked up tons of info, especially during the last 5.5 months here in Uganda. So I am glad to be able to share and help others out. After lunch I took them to look at a couple of guesthouses and we found a great place for them to stay.

Then late last night I helped the two adoptive families staying here at Herb and Ellen’s with me. I looked over their paperwork and told them what they needed to take to the embassy, questions to ask, etc. I gave them phone numbers, directions, etc. Just call me the adoption concierge of Uganda. 

Before bed I was thinking about all that had happened during the day. It was a long day. It’s been a long 5.5 months, but it was truly my joy to help these families. My goal is to be a blessing to others even in the midst of my own frustrating circumstances, but it’s funny how God always blesses me in the process. I know God has me here for a reason and I feel like part of the reason is to help other families. I would be totally miserable here if I just stayed home and wallowed in self-pity over my circumstances. Instead, I daily make the choice to walk with a smile on my face, accept my circumstances, find joy in the small things, and look for ways God can use me.

Tomorrow I’m going to visit a place called “M”. You can read more about this place at http://www.sixtyfeet.org/. Please take the time to look at their website and blog. The conditions of the children there are unbelievable. No person should ever be subjected to the treatment these kids have endured. I know it’s going to be a heart-wrenching experience. Pray for me and the team I will be going with. Pray for God to use us in a special way. And in case you are wondering or worried, Mercy will be staying home tomorrow with my friend, Kelly.

And one last plug… I am about $75 short of being able to purchase 120 more Mama Kits next week. Would you consider a $5 or $10 donation? Just click on the Mama Kit/PayPal link in the upper right corner.