BEAD PARTY

One of my favorite things to buy in Uganda is jewelry.  I have an obsession with all of the beautiful, handmade pieces and I would venture that at least 75% of all of the jewelry I wear comes from Uganda.  Uganda is now becoming well-known for its paper beads.  Women started making these beads from strips of magazine paper and the beads have created thousands of jobs for women who otherwise would have no way to provide for their families.  So, I decided to share my love of these paper beads with you. I am having a bead party next Thursday, January 6th.  The party will be come & go from 6-9pm at my house.  The necklaces, bracelets, and earrings will range from $5-$15 a piece and all proceeds will go to help fund the rest of this adoption.  Anyone is welcome, so invite a friend.  If you need to know my address, send me an email (melissabusby@hotmail.com). If you don't live in the Wichita area, I will post the leftovers online and you can have a chance to buy some too.  I look forward to seeing you there!



These are examples... the ones I have are buried in my room right now,
but these will give you an idea of what they look like.  I have a bunch of colors, sizes, and lengths. 



Long time no blog

Sorry, I've been a MIA the past week or so.  It's been a whirlwind.  I arrived home in Wichita late last Wednesday.  It was non-stop getting ready for Christmas and then on Monday we left to go to Oklahoma for a few days to do Christmas with Cody's family. It's been a great week of lots of family time, laughs, hugs, and yummy food. 

Mercy is doing well.  We've been able to Skype with her a couple of times and we get some sort of update about everyday.  We did figure out that it may be best for her to not see or hear me on Skype.  She's used to talking to Cody, Emma and Avery that way, but not me.  The first call ended in tears, so today I just sat off to the side and watched.  It was great to see her funny faces and hear her voice.  We are so grateful for Beth & Jeremy and Doug & Kathryn for taking such good care of our girl.

I booked my ticket tonight to leave on January 10th and arrive in UG on the 11th.  No official news to report from Uganda.  Nothing will likely happen until the court offices reopen on January 7th.  Please continue to pray for things to go quickly and smoothly for us in January.  As much as I've enjoyed being home, I still miss Mercy like crazy and I can't wait for all of my family to be together under one roof.  What a day that will be!

I'm not promising too many more blog posts while I am home.  Trying to spend as much time as possible with my family and also catching up on life.  Tonight I worked on the mail/school papers/misc. pile.  Oh my!

Not yet...

Well, I did get to meet with the judge today.  I didn't expect it to happen, so I am glad that I can at least say that it happened.  Unfortuately, it was not the outcome I was wanting.  He was not willing to take any further steps to move things along for us.  However, I did find out this afternoon about a possible alternative route to getting this all resolved.  All of the details are being worked out and it may be a long shot, so I won't share the details yet, but it could save us some further hassle and time.  But it does not appear that anything will be figured out for sure before everything closes down for Christmas. I still plan to fly out late tomorrow night.  Tomorrow will be busy with packing and preparations to leave Mercy.  And then once I get home, I know it will be a whirlwind of Christmas preparations and fun.  So, this may be my last update for a few days.  Thank you so much for your continued prayers and support.  May you all have a Blessed and Merry Christmas!

**If you have any desire to order a "Love Mercy" shirt for $15 send me an email ASAP (melissabusby@hotmail.com).  I am placing the order in the morning.  Look at these cute models, Abigail and Nolan.  Abigail came home from Uganda this summer.  Her family will welcome two more Ugandan cuties to their family early next year. Their mom, Heather, has been a huge encouragement to me.  Very grateful for her!

me vs. God...guess who wins?

So, God and I had it out during worship today. We arrived at church just as the music was starting. We found our spots and started singing. As soon as I opened my mouth I felt tears coming. For one, the past two Sundays I’ve only done Skype church (which was fabulous by the way), but it was great to be in a large body of believers singing with all of their hearts. Then all of the stress and emotion of the past few weeks just welled up. And then it was like each song was aimed at me… two songs in particular. The first was Chris Tomlin’s “Our God”. I printed the words below for you.
=======================

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Into the darkness you shine
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

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When I got to the lines about “If Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us” that’s when I started to lose it. I felt like God and I were arguing.

Me, “I know who can stop us… embassies, court registrars, judges.”

God, “I’ve got this and I’m not done yet.”

Me, “I feel like everything is standing against us right now.”

God, “It’s not going to last forever.”

And then I listened carefully to the rest of the song… “Our God is greater, our God is Stronger…”. And I started to feel some peace, but the tears kept falling. I couldn’t even sing… the words wouldn’t come out. Thankfully, next we sang a few songs in Luganda, which helped me recover a bit. Then we got to Hillsong’s “Mighty to Save”. Oh my! You may remember my post back from September, and how God used this song in a service then with me.
========================

Everyone needs compassion, love that's never failing

Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a Savior

The hope of nations

Savior, He can move the mountains

My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save

Forever, Author of Salvation

He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me, all my fears and failures

Fill my life again

I give my life to follow, everything I believe in

Now I surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see

We're singing

For the glory of the risen king, Jesus

Shine your light and let the whole world see

We're singing

For the glory of the risen king

=========================
As soon as it started, I thought, here we go again! And again my conversation with God began…

Me, “God can you really move the mountains? Then will you please move mine.”

God, “Be patient.”

Me, “God, I’m scared and frustrated and my patience is gone.”

God, “Let me fill you.”

Then there is the line “Now I surrender…”. I felt like God really wanted to know if I was going to surrender all of this stuff to him… my fears, failures, worries, and then the biggie.. Mercy. Wow, that’s a hard one. But sometimes I forget that God loves Mercy more than I do and I need to trust in His plan for her life. He’s brought her this far, so I need to let Him continue. “Shine your light and let the whole world see… for the Glory of the risen king.”

Me, “But I don’t really want to shine my light right now. Don’t you remember… I don’t want to be the example? I’d much rather pout in the corner, Lord.”

God, “But I gave you the light and I want it to shine. It’s for my glory, not yours. Your version of failure or defeat and mine are different. Remember that no matter the outcome, I am God and I love you.”

And then I relented and sang, as well as I could through my tears.

Tomorrow I will try one last time to get my meeting with the judge. Then we’ll make our contingency plans for our next steps to take in January. I’ve booked a ticket for me to leave late Tuesday and arrive home Wednesday night. I am very much looking forward to spending some time resting and loving on Cody, Emma and Avery. And I know Mercy will be in great hands until I return.

Not Today

Just a brief update.  I may try to write more later, but I wanted those of you not on my Facebook to know.  Just as I was leaving to go to the meeting, I got a call that the man was not going to be in the office the rest of the day.  Nothing else could be done today.  I will go tomorrow and consult with my attorney once again and see if there is really any chance for a meeting on Monday or not.  From there I will most likely go book my ticket home for early next week.  Thank you so much for your continued love and support.  Your love for my family blows me away.  The thought that so many of you set your alarms to pray for me, truly is mind-blowing... brings me to tears just thinking about it.

For Such a Time as This...

Ok, I’m not Queen Esther, but tomorrow I do have to go before a very important person who could decide Mercy’s fate and resolve all of this. This is my last chance before the Christmas holiday to get anything done. And perhaps I do feel a bit like Esther. I’m not prepared for this. I did not sign up to become the poster-child of International Adoption Nightmares. I didn’t want to be made an example by all parties involved. I did not want to be “inspirational” to all of you. I just wanted to bring a new baby girl into my family. That first time I held Mercy in my arms when she was three weeks old I knew she was to be part of our family. That is all I set out to do. I guess if God had told me all of the rest of this stuff beforehand I would have second-guessed this calling. It’s almost laughable now, how simple it all seemed back then. But God did choose this path for us. He has me here for a reason. We’re in this specific situation for a reason. And I believe I have this meeting tomorrow for a reason. I do not know the outcome, and I’ve learned by now that things do not always happen as I would plan, but I know God has a plan.

So I’m once again asking each of you to pray.

• First of all, pray for this meeting to happen and for this man to see me. As anyone who’s followed my journey knows, no meeting or plan is a given in Africa until it actually takes place.

• Pray for him to allow me to speak freely and for me to have the rights words to say.

• Pray for him to have mercy on us and agree to help.

• Pray for him to act swiftly.

• Pray for my heart and Cody’s if things do not go as we wish.

This meeting is to take place around 12:30pm, which is 3:30am CST… again TIA (this is Africa), so this is an approximate time.

I have had many people tell me the last few weeks how strong I am and how inspiring our family is to so many. This is humbling. I do not feel inspiring or even strong. I’m just asking the Lord to help me get through each day. I have had plenty of really bad days. I cry, I complain, and I pout… and so does Cody. I ask God, “Why me, how much longer, what’s the point?” over and over. All I can say is that He’s continually reminding me to have perspective on my situation. He reminds me that I don’t need to know the whole plan. He’s reminding me that He never said Christianity would be an easy life and I’ve learned a dependence on God that I’ve never known before. So each time my hopes come crashing down, I have a meltdown and then I gather myself back up, pray for strength and wisdom, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. That’s all I can do.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I have a speck of hope. I know God is capable and can do anything He chooses. I don’t know if this meeting is the beginning my Christmas miracle to come home with Mercy, but it could be. I do know that whatever happens, God is still God and He still loves my family more than anyone else. And as a friend reminded me today, “Do not be anxious about anything , but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Waiting Game

We’re still waiting around here. My lawyer says there is still hope for something to happen this week, but the way things have gone so far, I’m finding it hard to believe. Each day we are told, "Maybe tomorrow."  The waiting and living life in limbo is tough.

Thank you for your prayers. They’ve helped me to get through another roller coaster week. This has been a tough one. The closer we get to Christmas the more I want to be home, but the more impossible it seems for Mercy to go with me. Emma and Avery have class parties and school projects that I’d love to be attending. I feel like I’ve already missed so much. I’m trying to finish up my shopping online. So grateful for the internet!  Can't believe Christmas is next week.  Wow!

Emma summed it all up for me this week. She told me yesterday morning on the phone, “At first Mommy I was sad you were gone, then I was mad that you couldn’t come home yet, now I’m just tired.” Me too Em… Mommy is tired and longing to see you and love on you. So ready for our family of 5 to all be together.

Grateful for Mama kits

This week I was able to buy 120 more Mama Kits.  Such a blessing!  Harriet called a few of the women who did not get one before.  They were so glad to come by and pick one up.  One mama had already delivered, but she brought the baby by for me to see.  He was adorable.  Then on Friday, Simon and Kelly arranged to shoot video of some of the kits getting passed out.  They were also able to interview some of the women that the Crisis Pregnancy Center home.  I was taking care of lawyer stuff most of the day, so I didn’t really get to help, but I’m so glad they were able to do this.  We asked Harriet to see if she could get a few women to come by the house.  She made a couple of calls and told a few women when she went to the market.  They had close to 40 women come by in just a couple of hours.  Amazing!

Holding the new baby and passing out kits!

I also received an email of thanks from Harriet’s village.  You may remember, she took a bunch of kits out to the village a few weeks ago.  They asked all of the pregnant women to come to the clinic to get a kit.  They were very excited and so grateful.  So a big thank you to everyone that contributed to this effort.  Many of the women said that to buy these supplies themselves would cost them around $15.  For that amount of money, they could easily feed their family for a week or more.  How amazing is it to think that your gift of just $5 can help to remove a huge financial burden and eliminate a big health risk for these mamas?  Can you imagine giving birth in a mud hut, miles from a hospital, with no materials because you didn’t have the $15 to buy the supplies the hospital requires?  This is reality for many of these women.  $5 is all it takes to help a Mama out.



Women receiving their kits



The nurse explaining what all the kit contains

If you'd like to donate toward a Mama Kit, please click on the Mama Kit Donation link on the upper right side of the page.  Thank you so much!

Hail Mary

I sort of have an update on our situation. I’m kind of scared to mention it to all of you. I hate getting everyone’s hopes up and then having them dashed time and again. But I also feel like I owe it to each of you that’s been following along and praying for us. There is a chance that the judge will hear our case this week. He said previously that he would not hear any adoption cases until at least January, but due to our circumstances, he said he’d try to fit us in his schedule this week. We, hopefully, will know more tomorrow. Again, I’m trying to not get my hopes up and be realistic, but there is a chance… a glimmer of hope. So pray for our glimmer. Pray for the judge to see us and give us a ruling very quickly. This is our “Hail Mary” pass at the end of the 4th quarter on a 4th down. It’s a long shot, but it’s possible. And also please pray for our hearts in case this does not work out. Pray for us to take whatever news comes with dignity and grace, to always respond in love and patience, and to give God glory no matter the circumstances.
I also wanted to again thank everyone for their love and support. So many of you have changed profile pictures on Facebook to our t-shirt designs. You’ve written blogs about us, posted status updates about us, sent us cards and emails, and called. If we have not responded to an email or call, it’s nothing personal, we’ve just been overwhelmed and not had time to respond to everyone, but thank you so very much! We do read each message and listen to each voicemail and they mean the world to us. A few other Uganda Mamas have offered to publicize our t-shirts on their blogs. It’s a way to help make up some of the extra costs of staying here 4 months. So if any of you missed the chance before to get a shirt and you want one, send me an email to melissabusby@hotmail.com. I’ll place the order around the 20th.

A bit of fun for you… today Mercy and I went with some friends to “Wonder World”, which is Uganda’s amusement park. It’s not far from us at all and we’ve been wanting to check it out. Today they had a special “Family Christmas” celebration. The park has about 10 rides, a playground, and some water slides. Today they also had inflatables and face painting. It reminded me a lot of a small town carnival minus the food. I had the best time on the bumper cars. We laughed and laughed. Mercy and I rode the Monorail. This was the shortest and slowest ride ever, but we had fun. We watched the other kids go on rides and look like they were going to puke. So funny! This park also has a movie theater. The price of admission today also covered a movie. It was the new Harry Potter movie. I was not planning on going to the movie, but everyone else was and I knew Mercy was sleepy. The hope was that she’d fall asleep and I could watch the film. No luck, she lasted about 30 minutes and then I had to leave. That was ok with me. The movie was out of focus and driving me crazy! But it was John Mary’s first time to see a film in the theater. I didn’t realize this until we sat down. So fun to be a part of such a moment for him. This was also his first time in an amusement park, first time to do bumper cars or ride a ride. I loved watching his reactions to everything. In the advertisements for today they kept mentioning “Father Christmas” was going to be there. We looked and looked for him. We asked a few people and they said that he was getting ready and would be around later. When I left the movie, we found him! I wasn’t sure what their “Father Christmas” would look like, but I never pictured this. Apparently, he is not taken too seriously in Uganda. He was walking around passing out balloons to kids. Mercy was not so sure about him, but she loved the balloon. That was her favorite part of the day. This is not exactly what I pictured for her first photo with Santa, but I love it. Too bad she wasn’t looking at the camera.

They gave all of the kids these super cool homemade visors at the entrance



This really was the "sign" for the bathroom.  WOW!



Bumper Cars are fun... Autum is a crazy driver.



John Mary and Preston.  JM's first ride!



This face cracks me up!



First trip to the movies for both of them.  He lasted longer than she did, ha!



Me, the back of Mercy's head, random children, and "Father Christmas" or what I call "Crazy Clause".



End of the Story

Someday, maybe, I’ll fill you in all of the crazy circumstances involving this adoption and even the last few days. It’s really pretty unbelievable. This roller coaster of emotions is ridiculous. To some degree, I am scared to think or feel anything.


But here’s the deal… we want everything done the right way. We want to be legal and ethical in all we do. We do not want people to question our integrity or this adoption. Although bureaucracy can be frustrating (ok, beyond frustrating) at times, we have laws for a reason. And while it would seem exceptions should be made in certain circumstances, I understand that it can be impossible to look at each situation on a case-by-case basis. If getting that special visa goes against the law, I do not want it. But, man, it sure was disappointing. If my current ruling is questionable in the eyes of some people, I want a new one that is not. This will involve more waiting, but I know it will be worth it in the end. I know many of you want to fight for us, and so do I, but there really is no one to fight right now. For whatever reason, we are stuck in what I’ve been describing as the “Perfect Storm”. Yes, there is injustice. Yes, we are reaping the consequences of other people’s actions, but that is life. I hate being made the example, but I hope it can benefit other families in the future.

Cody had a great point yesterday… he said that while this situation is horrible and frustrating, we know the end of the story. We know Mercy is our daughter and we know she will someday come home with us. Right now we don’t when, but we need to trust God and His timing. He set us on this path for a reason. God gave us a calling, but He never said it would be easy.

Please continue praying for us. I had two friends remind me of the story of Moses holding his arms up during the battle, and when he got tired the others held his arms up for him (Exodus 17). They said all of you are holding our arms up right now for us. It is so true. I am weary. Cody is tired. My children are exhausted. We are all frustrated. We need you to lift us up. I know you are because your prayers are what got me through the day, even with a few smiles and laughs. Each time I think I do not have the strength for more, God provides. I thought there was no way I could walk back into that embassy today and hand over Mercy’s passport to get a “revoked” stamp put in it, but I did. I did not think I had it in me to walk back into my lawyer’s office again, but I did. I worried so much about Cody having to tell Emma and Avery that Mommy and Mercy would not be home today, but he did it and they handled it. They are sad, but oh, how strong my girls are. They amaze me. Poor precious Mercy has no clue of the battle waging around her. In the midst of the horror of yesterday she was happily singing a song and making me somehow smile through my tears. Today she’s been in a great mood, oblivious to what’s happening. I’m glad. My sweet girl has endured enough in her short life. And I’m glad that I know the end of the story. It makes it a bit easier to hold my arms during this battle.

Heartbroken

I don’t have the words. Mercy and I are not leaving tonight as planned. She does not have a visa. I am heartbroken, confused, and frustrated.


"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and honor depend on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to him; for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8

Thanks Pamela for this verse today and to the others who sent them.  I need them now.

To Miss or Not to Miss

I’ve been pondering the past week or so, things I will miss and things I will not miss when I go home. This is not a complete list and I wish I had a bit more time to elaborate on a few things, but here it is for now… in no particular order… I’m leaving comments open, if others who have spent time in Uganda have their own things to share.



Things I will miss:

Fresh fruits and veggies for dirt cheap… Mercy won’t know what to do without fresh pineapple and avocado every day

The friendliness of the people… I love Ugandans, their greetings, and their big smiles.

Amazing flavors of potato chips… Thai Sweet Chili Pringles may be my favorite

Coke from a glass bottle. Yum!

Krest Bitter Lemon Soda- why, oh why, do they not sell this in the US?

Chapatti and Samosas

Slower pace of life

Walking to places all of the time… I attribute this to my weight loss much more than my diet.

The thrill of boda-boda rides, but don’t worry Mom, I will not continue riding motorcycles with Mercy at home.

Street vendors… I think it is so fun that I can get a newspaper, airtime, sunglasses, pots and pans, bug zappers, and even socks all out the window of a car for dirt cheap

Worship in an African church… can’t get enough of it

Paying only about $2.50 for an amazing frappe or iced mocha

Bartering- I love feeling like I’m getting a deal, even though I’m probably still paying more than a Ugandan would

The adorable children I see playing and walking each and every day. They have so little, but are always smiling and happy. They’ve brought a smile to my face and perspective to my heart many times.

Getting called “Mama Mercy” by so many people…security guards, store clerks, street vendors. Mercy is the celebrity of the neighborhood. Ha!

Harriett’s cooking. I’m spoiled. The most amazing Honey Baked Chicken tonight. Yummy!

Buying movies off the street for a buck.

Great friends that I have made, but so glad I’ll come back and visit.


Things I will not miss:

Washing dishes by hand in cold water

Power/Water Outages

Royco… spice mix used in lots of Ugandan cooking. I am not a fan. Should only be used in small quantities .. in my humble opinion.

Roosters

Dirt/mud… everywhere, all of the time

Ugandan healthcare… have found very few doctors that I really think know more than I do.

Crummy diapers and wipes that cost a lot!

Milk in a bag or “long-life” milk. Eww! Milk should not last for 3 months… ever.

Traffic jams… the worst ever. Seriously.

Having to boil or filter water all of the time. .. it really is a pain.

Roll on deodorant… why do they not sell ladies’ stick deodorant anywhere?!

My old school cell phone and always needing to buy more “airtime”

Pay-as-you-go Internet that is very slow and unreliable

Mosquito nets

Public bathrooms... I can't even begin to describe to you.

Handwashing clothes, although I am spoiled with a washer here at the Cooks’.

Scrubbing my feet like crazy each night and them still looking brown and pitiful

Bugs and geckos… we are constantly battling mosquitoes, ants, and even geckos in the house

Locking up padlocks each time you leave the house and before bed. I never knew a deadbolt and/or a garage door opener was such a beautiful thing.


To be continued.......

Miracle Working God

I totally should be packing right now, but I have to take a moment and tell you all thank you so much. I am in shock and a bit overwhelmed right now. I can’t believe late tomorrow night Mercy and I will be getting on a plane to come home. I have received so many emails and messages of congratulations that it’s unbelievable. Cody says his phone is ringing off the hook. It’s hard to imagine that there are so many people all over the country, and really all over the world, that have been following our story and praying for us. So many of you I have never met in person, yet you still cared enough to think about us and pray for us. Truly humbling!


I have seen God move in mighty ways all throughout this journey. So many things have happened that truly would have been impossible without God. Today was another one of those days. People just do not get the type of visa we are getting for Mercy. It’s unheard of, unless you are a missionary or living and working in the country and just taking the child to visit America. I think God knew that Mercy and I needed to stay together and that we really need to be at home with the rest of our family, especially for Christmas. I am so glad and grateful that God opened the doors for this to happen. God still has a bit more work to do to get all of this completed, but I’m totally trusting and relaxing in Him right now.

So, Ladies and gentlemen, gather your shaving cream and razors… soon it will be time to ditch those Mercy beards and legs. I know there will be many husbands and wives grateful for us to be home and the hair to be gone. Ha! I’d love some pictures of the Mercy beards before and after you shave. And if you are crazy enough, ladies, to send me a pic of your legs, I’ll take that too. What a great memory for us to share with Mercy some day!

For those of you in the Wichita area… if you are available we’d love to have you come meet and greet us at the airport. We will arrive at approximately 4:15pm on Thursday. I’ll be the crazy, tired woman with the baby and the huge smile on my face. See you soon!

Coming Home!!!

For those of you stalking my blog a quick update.... (By the way, it cracks me up that there are really people that stalk my blog.  Crazy!).  Today the Embassy decided to issue a special visa for Mercy so we can come home!!  We'll be flying out late tomorrow night and arriving on Thursday afternoon.  So excited!

This is still just a short term solution, but we are thrilled to get to come home.  We are still working on a long term solution, so she'll be a citizen and all of that, but God will work those plans out.  In the meantime, we are rejoicing.

One Step Closer

Got a call this evening from the Embassy. They asked me to meet with them in the morning and discuss visa options. This is a very good sign. Praying for a big breakthrough tomorrow. I’ll be there around 10am, which is 1am CST.

Prayers Please!

We really need you to pray for us today and tomorrow. Yesterday, we got some of the most encouraging news we’ve had in months and it came totally out of the blue. I love it when things work like that. It wasn’t one of the days when I’m stalking email all day long, but instead when I was gone all day enjoying myself (went to a Ugandan wedding ceremony, but that’s a post for another day!).
Anyway, tomorrow in Kampala some people at the Embassy will be meeting to discuss our case. They are discussing “some new short and long term plans for Mercy’s visa”. Also, our Washington, DC lawyer is still talking with the State Department. We’ve asked for some congressional help too. They should take some action tomorrow. So, tomorrow people in DC will also be discussing our case and possible solutions as well.

What does all of this mean? We could be on the brink of some good news and a way for me AND MERCY to come home for Christmas. Please pray before you go to bed tonight (that’s morning for us here in Kampala) and also in the morning as things start happening in DC. Thanks.

A Gift

**another blog post... this is what happens when I'm stuck in the house for 3 days with a sick kiddo.**

I know I’ve mentioned on here before that earlier in the year when adoptive families were getting stuck in Uganda for months I was so grateful that I was not in their position. I just knew God would clear everything up and I would not be stuck. Well, as we all know now, that is not the case. Due to my own set of bizarre circumstances, I have been in Uganda for 14 weeks. But here’s the amazing thing, many of these women whowere stuck are now my biggest cheerleaders and encouragers. They’ve been here and done that and I so appreciate their advice, love and understanding. No one else can know what it feels like to be in this particular situation. People can try, but just like any tough circumstance, you don’t fully know until you’ve walked this path. They are a gift to me.

God has used these special women to flood me with encouragement the past 24 hours, really the past 9 weeks. One mom woke up super early this morning with me heavy on her heart. She sent me a long Facebook message with her thoughts, concerns, and advice. This was before she read my blog today or truly knew what was happening. Yet each word she wrote spoke straight to my heart. Without her knowing all of the crazy thoughts in my head, she spoke to each specific thing. Isn’t God amazing? Just the words I needed at the right time. I am so glad she was faithful and got up to send me that note.

Just about an hour later, another mom sent me another long message full of love and encouragement. And another emailed me with some new information and ideas on things to do and sent me numerous emails yesterday. Another replied to my email for prayer within minutes and said she knew exactly how I felt. She told me a couple of weeks ago that her father prays for me by name every day and often asks how I am doing. Wow. These are people I’ve never met in person.

I am grateful to be a very, very small part of the reason these families went through this trial earlier this year. They can now use their experiences to encourage other adoptive families, like mine. Each of them has told me that they are now very grateful for their time in Uganda, even though it was not part of their original plan. Each of them has told me they now can see how God used that time. They help me to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

So, to me, this begs the question… to whom can you be a gift? What trials and sufferings have you been through so that now you can be an encourager to others? Is it a job loss, loss of a parent or child, bankruptcy, divorce, abuse, addiction, miscarriage, infertility, major illness, psychological problem, unwanted pregnancy, caring for an ailing parent, doubting God? Find someone in your life at work, school, church or even online that could use your encouragement. Tell your story. Listen. Love. It helps a lot just to know someone else knows how you are feeling and that you are not alone. Use your experiences to help others. This Christmas season… be a gift.

Another Roadblock

Seriously, I cannot believe we’ve hit yet another roadblock. Yesterday, I was told that our judge will not hear any cases until January. I can’t remember right now if I’ve mentioned it on here or not, but the courts close here from approximately December 15th-January 15th for the holidays. Our hope now for getting out of here before Christmas is in Washington DC. Please pray specifically for our attorney there. She needs to get a hold of some very specific people and we need them to be sympathetic to our case. She was working on it yesterday, but we have not heard back from her yet.

For those wondering about our Christmas plans, if things do not change in the next two weeks, I will fly home without Mercy to spend Christmas at home. This is a very difficult decision for us because I know how well Mercy and I have bonded. I cannot stand the thought of leaving her, but I have two other children at home that need to see their mommy and a husband that needs me too. It is so hard to have your heart split between two continents. Mercy will stay with the Howards and then the Taylors. So I am very glad she’ll be in two places that she is familiar with and with people she knows and loves. But again we hope to not have to go this route. Please pray for our Christmas miracle for all of us to be together.
Also, I am once again asking for you to pray for Mercy’s health. She has a horrible cough and fever. I have medicine for her and we’ve been staying home getting lots of rest. So pray for a quick recovery. Beth says a couple of kids at her house had a similar thing last week and it went away in a few days. We pray that will be the case for her too. I also feel like I’m coming down with it, so please pray for me as well. One of the joys of single parenthood is that it is not easy for the parent to be sick.

I am forever grateful that God is in control.  He knows my heart, my struggles, and pain.  He knows Cody's frustrations.  He knows how much Emma and Avery want their Mommy home and want to meet their sister.  He knows Mercy's needs.  I'm trusting Him with all of these details.

Learning Language

Poor Mercy has been inundated with language the past few months. As I’ve mentioned before the first 15 months of her life she primarily heard Lugwere and a bit of English. Then since August, she’s been in Kampala where she’s heard a lot of English and Luganda. And then to add to the mix, the past few weeks I’ve been working on baby sign language with her. The funny thing is she knows a little bit of all of it.

As far as I know, I’ve never heard her say any words in Lugwere, although I don’t know any, so she could be. But when she hears it (occasionally a Ugandan will try it out on her), her ears perk up and she’ll follow basic commands like “come here”.

She’s picked up several words in Luganda. It is very similar to Lugwere, so I think it’s a bit easier for her in some ways to understand. It is funny how you can tell she understands something when someone speaks it to her. It’s really just the basics, like “hello”, “how are you?”, “fine”, “come here”, “no”, and “amen”. She’ll say these words occasionally.

Then with English she understands a lot of what I say. Trust me, with her eyes and facial expressions you can tell she knows exactly what I am saying, although she may choose to ignore it. English seems to be what she will actually speak the most. She can say, “Mom or mommy”, “Daddy”, “uh oh”, “no”, “thank you” (this is very mumbled, but I know what she means), “please”(sounds more like ‘peas’ and is very cute!), “Hallelujah” (one of the Howard girls taught her this one). “Hi”, “Bye”, “nana” for banana, and “yes” (new word for yesterday) and my favorites, “Hey baby!” and “baby Jesus” (this is part of a popular kids’ song here). All of these things she only says when she feels like it. Mercy is a strong-willed child and she has to want to do something. She’s a lot like one of my other children who shall remain nameless. Ha! Sometimes I can drill her and get her to say most all of her words. I did this the other day for the Taylor kids who were highly entertained by it. But when I said, “No”, she answered “nyeda”, which is “no” in Luganda. Isn’t it amazing how their brains work! She’s already translating.

I have noticed that Mercy gets quite frustrated when she wants something and I do not understand. This often leads to aggression and/or biting, again much like one of her sisters! Who knew I’d get to relive the joy of those days. Thankfully, I’m much more relaxed about it this time, since I know they eventually outgrow it. Anyway, I’ve been trying to teach Mercy some signs to use. I’ve been told this is a great tool to relieve some of the frustration, especially for adopted children. So far she just knows the basics, “eat”, “drink”, “please”, “thank you”, “all done”, “come”, “no”, and we just started learning “more” and “yes”. And she made up her own sign for a poopy diaper. .. that’s the Busby coming out in her. It’s amazing to me how quickly she picks this up and how much she likes it. Last night, she went and stood in the kitchen signing “eat” until I started making her plate. She’s also learned that “please” is often the magic word for getting what you want. But she now thinks anytime she signs “please” I am obligated to do whatever she wants… like give her nail polish, coke, my phone, etc.

All of it makes me a bit sad that I can’t really speak another language. Isn’t it interesting that most everyone in the world speaks at least two languages, yet the average American only speaks one. Most Ugandans know at least three and can say the basics in about four. I wish I would have paid more attention in Spanish and French class. From birth is the best time to learn another language, and Mercy is a shining example of that. She’s like a little sponge just ready to soak it all in. Ahh, to be young again!

More on Mama Kits

I just had to share about the latest with Mama Kits.  It’s been a bit quiet on the Mama Kit front the past couple of weeks.  I gave away all of the kits we had, but I did not have enough money to buy more yet.   A while back, a friend of ours from college, Rebekah, asked if she could use Mama Kits as a fundraiser for her preschool.  Each November they pick a charity to help out.  She thought a lot of the moms would want to support Mama Kits.  So she sent home these cute little packets with info on the kits and on our family.  Seriously, how cute is Mercy?  How could you look at that face and not want to give? 

Mama Kit Fundraiser

Well, they raised more than $180. Way to go kiddos! Then Rebekah told me that her church also wanted to raise money for Mama Kits as their Thanksgiving project. How awesome is that?! She sent me another $200 yesterday. Now I have more than enough to buy at least another 100 kits this month, possible more. What a blessing!

Last week we visited another home for teenage mothers. This home hosts up to 20 girls at a time and is run by a group called “Youth for Christ”. They offer prenatal care, bible study, parenting classes, and lessons on sewing, cooking, and other important job skills. The kits will be a big help to these young mothers and to this ministry that, like all charities, is always needing more room in the budget.


Also, my friend Simon Peter and Kelly have agreed to be my feet on the ground here on this project when I am gone.  They will help coordinate the delivery of the kits and make sure they get to the right people.  Simon also has a background in TV, like me.  He has arranged to use some video equipment, and with the help of a filmmaker friend they are going to film the delivery of the latest kits and get interviews with some of the mamas.  This will be a great tool to use to raise more money when I am home.  I hope to be able to speak at some other churches or groups to raise awareness.  This video could also be used by people like you at your churches, play groups, etc. to support mama kits. Every woman deserves the right to a safe delivery and I want to do all I can to help them do just that.

Kelly and Mercy



Simon loading up Mama Kits last month

See these women below.  They, along with two other pregnant women, walked more than 30 minutes uphill to come get a “Mama Kit” last week.  The one in front was due any day.  I hated that I had to tell them I did not have any more kits.  I’m glad Harriett can call them soon and tell them to pick one up.

 

Mamas in Need