One Year Ago...

 Today marks a special day for our family. One year ago, Mercy legally became our daughter. Also, one year ago, Mercy met her daddy for the first time. It is a day I will never forget. I’ll always remember sitting in that courtroom feeling sick to my stomach waiting to hear those precious words. I remember how relieved and elated Beth and I were as we left that place. I remember how excited I was to see my sweet husband after a month apart and how thrilled I was to introduce him to his new daughter. Little did I know what the next year would hold.

After Court!

Beth and I were kind of pumped up!

Meeting Daddy!

We celebrated last night with a family night at one of our favorite spots… burgers, hot dogs, and frozen custard. YUM! We also picked up these fabulous turkey hats. Thank you Target dollar bins!

And I’ve noticed that it is rare to get a photo of a Busby with a normal facial expression.

Mercy’s come a long way from the girl who refused to look at her daddy the first day she met him.

It cracks me up how Mercy is pushing Avery away here...
she had had enough kisses.

I can say that our family has grown in remarkable ways in the past year and we will never be the same. I am thankful for all of it. We have grown closer to each other and closer to God. We’ve learned that nothing is guaranteed, but that some things are worth the battle. We’ve learned tough lessons that we would not have learned without the trials.

And now to what you really want to know... how is her hair?

My latest hair-do... my skills have improved in the past year,
but I have a ways to go.

Mercy's hair one year ago... it's grown so much!



Q&A for You and Me

A Cody post...

Here we are two months down the road and it seems like we’ve always lived this way. The first few weeks were completely surreal. It was wild actually having them home. Our families and friends were gracious to give us a bit of space to adjust to our new life. But I think it was just as surreal for them as it was for us. They often just stared at Melissa and Mercy as if they couldn’t believe they were actually here.

So many of my routines are different now. I get to work a full day in the office. I go to bed earlier because I’m not up past midnight to Skype. And I’ve lost seven pounds by not scarfing the unbelievable desserts that came with the dinners our friends brought us. It is so good to be together. We get asked a lot of the same questions so I thought I might run through a little Q&A to bring you up to speed.

Q. Hi Cody. How are you?

A. I’m doing well. Thank you.

Q. How is Mercy adjusting?

A. She is doing great. I think because of the uniqueness of our situation she had fewer adjustments to make than other children do when they arrive home. Our biggest challenge has been sleep, but she is finally sleeping through the night. Really she’s just like a normal two year old; loud, snotty, cuddly, busy, stubborn, perfect.

Q. How’s her English?

A. Just like any other two year old’s English. Remember she has been with Melissa for the past year. And actually her language seems to be growing every week. That’s the nice way to say she never shuts up! It’s great.

Q. How are things going with the big girls?

A. It’s going really well with them also. We haven’t seen any hint of jealousy. They are great with Mercy. I didn’t anticipate how helpful Emma would be, but she has been awesome. Avery struggled a bit at first to find that balance between being little sister and big sister, but she’s doing great now. The girls do a bit of fighting as well, so that makes me think they’re really sisters.

Q. Is it good to have your wife home?

A. It is pretty stinking amazing. I am a big fan of living with my wife.

Q. Will you guys go back to Uganda?

A. Of course we will, but maybe later rather than sooner. We know we want Emma and Avery to see Uganda. We know that we want to return with Mercy when she is older. And we have dear friends there that we want to see again. We love the country and carry a burden for the people. Besides it wasn’t Uganda that gave us fits…it was America.

Q. Will you adopt again?

A. Almost certainly, but we need to rest for a while.

So again I want to say thanks for all your help, all your prayers, all your encouragement, all your t-shirt and jewelry buying, all your food, all my weight gain, all your tears, and all your willingness to invade foreign countries on our behalf. We have been blessed by all of you. Thank you for sticking with us this whole way. Now we’re going to go play house.  

The Busby Five!

Transitions

I feel like right now is a time of transitions for our family. We are learning how to be a family of 5. Cody and I are correcting some of our "survival mode" parenting of the past year. Remember Cody's post about how every man should live the life of his wife for a time. I'm learning how to deal with this super helpful and quite efficient husband that has evolved and learning to let him help, which has not always been easy for this control-freak mama. I'm also adjusting to life here with a toddler. For the past couple of years, I had a lot more time for cooking, cleaning, errands, etc. In Uganda I didn't do much cooking or cleaning, thanks to the wonderful homes God placed me in, so I'm learning that I can't accomplish all that I used to in a day. This is the trouble of having children 4.5 years apart... you forget some of these things. I'm cleaning up messes like this:

Yep, she unrolled a brand new roll.  Fun times.

Never a dull moment.

I prepared myself for the worst when coming home. I'd heard all sorts of stories from people about how hard it would be for Mercy, how my marriage would be put to the test, how Emma and Avery would have major issues, and I would have severe reverse culture-shock. Honestly, everything has gone remarkably well. I don't know why this part of the process has been relatively easy for us, but we'll take it. I think it helps that Mercy has been with me for a year now. She's had all of that time to learn to trust me and feel secure, to learn English, already felt bonded to Mercy. I also think part of it is the grace of God, realizing that we've been through a lot in the past year and that we needed something to be easy. (For a glimpse of the typical "transition" experience for adoptive families read this post. It has great insight for how to help and understand what families are going through. If you know someone adopting, you should read it.)

Aunt Meredith came for a quick visit.  Mercy just called her "Mommy's Sister."

Aunt Stephanie and her crew came for a couple of days too
during their recent move. Crazy to see both of my sisters within a week of each other.  That never happens!

I have felt a bit in a fog since I got home. I'm still trying to process all I've experienced and all God has taught me. I don't know what God wants me to do with all of it. I have some ideas and dreams of what I would like to see happen, but I'm trying to figure out if that is what God wants or just my own desires.

A couple of weeks ago I read an editorial in the paper that talked about the death of a friend of the author's family. The author discussed how this mother did not have a high profile job or lead a major cause, but she quietly cared for and sacrificed for her family. Her death would not be the talk of the town, but it will be felt immensely by this family because she loved them all so well. The author went on to say that the significance of a mother is often found in the little things. Those simple tasks which we do every day have greater meaning than we may realize. It's packing lunches, snuggle time, games, and reading books. It's making a favorite snack, a trip to the park, bedtime kisses. I'm trying to let that soak in.

Love hanging out with my Avery.  Funniest kid ever.

Me and my "mini-me" Emma.   She's suddenly so grown up, yet somehow I never age.  Amazing.

This is what happens when you and your incredibly tall husband try
to take a pic of yourselves.  So grateful to once again get date nights.

For the past year I feel like I've been in this huge battle for my family. My purpose was obvious and my goal was always before me. You prayed for us and cheered us on. Now, that battle is won and I'm trying to learn how to move on from here. I'm finding purpose in the small moments and relishing in every day life with my family. My days are filled with laundry, cooking, school projects and chasing around a very busy toddler. I'm trying to make it to school pick up on time and making sure we don't run out of bread or milk. In the midst of this I'm realizing that my life still has as much purpose and meaning. I don't have to be fighting governments and launching police investigations to have meaning. My meaning comes from serving God and showing His love to others, whether that be with starving orphans in Africa or at my own dinner table with my family. 

Gifts of Blessing

All along this journey we've had people give us some amazing and thoughtful gifts.  There is one very special gift that I need to tell you about...

We have a sweet couple at our church that has an amazing ministry called "Comfort Quilts".  Two years ago, Alayna and Rob, who are both police officers, felt called to make a special quilt for the family of an officer that was shot and killed.  They made the quilt from his old uniforms.  Since then, the ministry has snowballed and they've now made quilts for 15 different families all over the country.   All of the quilts are hand-delivered, which gives Rob and Alayna a special opportunity to minister first hand with these hurting families.  Just this past week, our local news station ran a story on Comfort Quilts.  (watch it here) Rob and Alayna found out this weekend that "The Today Show" wants to do a story on them this week.  They're flying their whole family to New York.  So look for them on TV later this week.  It is so cool to see what God has done with this ministry.

Anyway... Alayna is adopted, so adoption has a very special place in her heart.  All through out this process she's sent me encouraging emails, poems, and prayers.  Before I left last August she told me to buy some Ugandan fabrics because she wanted to make a special quilt to represent Mercy's Ugandan heritage.  I had the best time picking out the fabrics in the wild and crazy fabric market.  I gave the fabric to Alayna when I was home at Christmas. 

A couple of weeks ago she delivered the finished product.  I love that she incorporated our Love Mercy t-shirts into the design too.  Thank you so much Rob and Alayna!  I love it and I know Mercy will love it for years to come.  Now to get it hung on the wall!

Every Mother Matters!!

I know that all too often I write posts about ways you can give money.  I hate to inundate you with requests, but there are so many good ministries and places for you to give.  There are people all over this world doing amazing work, but they need funding in order for that work to continue.  So once again, I'm asking you to give or to at least consider it.  This project combines adoption and orphan prevention, which are two very important things to me. 

Just before Mother's Day, I linked to the website for "Because Every Mother Matters" and the special cards they were selling.  This ministry is run by an adoptive mom, who like me, decided she wanted to do something to prevent more orphans in this world.  Stephany is fighting for safe pregnancies and deliveries for women in Africa.  She's done all kinds of projects to help women in Ethiopia.  On a recent trip, she learned about one area where 4 of every 10 women die in childbirth.  Yes, you read that right.  4 of every 10!  This is in a remote area and the women do not have a safe way to make it to a medical clinic when there is a complication.  It takes at least 10 HOURS to HIKE to the nearest hospital.  Stephany decided that she would raise enough money to buy a 4x4 ambulance and then provide additional supplies and training to the local midwives in the 24 surrounding villages.  This ambulance will cost $10,000.

Stephany wanted to combine the fundraising for the ambulance with a fundraiser for people's adoptions.  Here are the basics, for every twenty dollars you give, an adoptive family of your choice gets a chance to win $2500.  Then any money raised over the $10,000 will be given to additional adoptive families.  You can read Stephany's explanation here... she does a much better job of it than I do.    Just go to the website and click on the donation button.  In the notes section add the name of an adoptive family.  I recommend that you put down, The Manuels of Clinton, MS.  These are some of our sweet friends that are adopting from Ethiopia.  Michael went to seminary with Cody and is a pastor now in Mississippi.  They are an amazing family and I would love to know that some of your are supporting their adoption.  Or if you know of another adopting family that you'd like to help, feel free to put their name.  This fundraiser is scheduled to end on Sunday, September 4th, so act now! 


The Manuels, aren't they adorable?

Every mother matters, whether in Ethiopia or America.  I know that if all of us would pitch in, we could easily fund the purchase of this ambulance.  This will save the lives of approximately 40 women per month.  This is a desperate need.  I just keep thinking of these laboring women trying to hike or be carried 10 hours to a hospital and dying along the way-- that is unacceptable.  Be part of the solution.  I must say it again... this world does not need more orphans.

Remember the Mercy Beards?

So do you remember the "Mercy Beard" Campaign from last Fall?  Cody asked other guys to join him in growing beards until Mercy and I got home.  Many men joined in the fun and sported their facial hair, but then it took forever for Mercy and I to get home.  When we thought we were coming home in December, many guys shaved.  Cody shaved when I came home for Christmas because he knows how much I hate rubbing against the scruff.  He knew if he wanted kisses he needed to shave. ;)  He started growing it out again when I returned to Uganda in January, and kept it until his trip to visit us in March.  After that he just gave up on it and decided it was too painful of a reminder of how long all of this was taking. 

But there are three amazing guys (let me know if I've missed someone) who kept their Mercy beards from October until we returned home on July 16th.  Wow, that is some major dedication.  Now they did trim it up so they wouldn't be accused of being mountain men or draw the notice of the police. 

I also want to give a big shout out to their wives and children.  I think the wives were more excited than their husbands to shave, with their children coming in a close second. 

Thank you so much guys for your dedication and love and support of our family, for sharing our story, and for rocking that facial hair so long.  YOU WIN!

Meet....

Sam Dial, one of our amazing church members (also pictured his two cute daughters Madalyn and Morgan)

Our dear friend and Youth Pastor, Asa Ramirez.  His sweet wife even let him keep the beard for the birth of their new baby girl. 



Randy Sisk who was with me on the trip when I first met Mercy.  He and his family have been a big encouragement to us!

 When you see these guys make sure and give them some props! 

Part of God's Provision

God sent us a very special person to help us along on this adoption journey—McLane Layton. We first learned about her in the Spring of 2010 when no visas were being issued for children adopted from Uganda. All of the families stuck in Uganda during that time and those of us waiting for court dates worked with McLane to write letters and make phone calls to our congressmen asking them to take action to get the visa process moving again. It worked, and in May 2010 visas started getting issued again. I thought that would be the end of our contact with McLane.
Fast forward to October 2010 when our own visa crisis started-- we again needed the help of McLane Layton. I emailed her and she immediately called Cody and gave us a plan of action. We pursued dual tracks in an effort to bring Mercy home. Track one was the Ugandan track, led by our attorney there. Track two was the American track, led by McLane. She directed our every step. She told Cody when to call congressmen and when not to. She talked to people at the US State Department, our congressmen, and even congressmen from other states on our behalf. She told Cody what we could make public and what we could not. She told us to be calm when life was decidedly not calm. She was right every time.

McLane and her family

McLane is an attorney in Washington DC. In addition to her practice she also runs an organization called “Equality for Adopted Children” or EACH. The goal of EACH is to make sure that children adopted by American citizens get the same rights as biological children. McLane learned of some of the disparities in the law for adopted children after her and her husband adopted three children of their own. After that experience, she decided to work to change the laws and make the process easier for families. As Legislative Counsel to U.S. Senator Don Nickles, she helped write the Child Citizenship Act of 2000 and has worked on other bills that bring the rights and needs of adopted children to the forefront. She is one of the top legislative voices on adoption. Every American family who adopts internationally today is affected by her work whether they realize it or not. She also works with families like ours that run into complications. She has an amazing track record on helping to resolve visa issues. We were scared we were going to ruin her record. Thank goodness we did not!

McLane worked on emails, letters, and paperwork for us until the wee hours of the night. She laughed and cried with us and even told me a few times she woke up in the middle of the night and prayed for us. It was extra comforting to know that she was not only fighting for us, but praying for us. We would not have made it without her. I also must tell you that she did all of her work for us pro bono. She is a blessing and a perfect example of God’s love and provision for our family this past year.
I encourage you to check out the website for EACH and join her organization: . Get your friends and family members to join too. It’s free to join, and each member gives her more of a voice with Congress and shows our lawmakers that many of us care deeply about orphans and adoption. I would also ask you to consider giving a donation to EACH. It’s easy for us to give directly to orphanages or to relief organizations, but groups like EACH need our help too. It is so important to have people lobbying Congress on behalf of our adopted children and on behalf of the millions of orphans in need around the world. McLane's importance in our adoption journey cannot be overstated. Plain and simple, Mercy and I are home today because of her work.


I know I've posted this pic before, but it's all because of McLane's help!!

McLane is important to families like ours because of both her empathy and her skill. She possesses a formidable knowledge of adoption law, as well as knowledge of the inner workings of different government agencies. Cody and I wish we could donate lots and lots of money to her organization, but that’s not going to happen just yet. But we will give and continue to support her and her work. We love the idea of supporting McLane as she helps another family going through a similar crisis and giving her the resources she needs to make sure the legal rights of all children are protected. Just think of all of the legislative work that could be done if each of us gave $10. It would be a great way for you to help us say thank you to a wonderful woman. Thanks McLane!!