Stripping Away My Idols

Long ago, back in the fall (seems like forever ago!), when I was living with the Howards, Beth made up a song called, “Stripping Away My Idols”. She would sing it every time God brought to mind all of the things/people/comforts/titles, etc. from America that she was missing. It would get stuck in my head and drive me crazy. The other day it came to mind out of nowhere, and it made me think of how true this statement has been for my life the past 10 months. I can hear Beth’s voice in my head belting it out and it makes me laugh, but the statement really holds a lot of truth. I can’t begin to figure out why God has led us on this path. There are a million little things I can point to and there are many things I’ve learned. I don’t know that I’ll ever look back and say, “Ok, this one things is THE reason why I had to live this long in Uganda and fight tooth and nail to get Mercy home. “ But one thing that I’ve learned is to depend on God more than ever, which is easier to do, when so many of my common idols are so far away.

Clothing… I’ve always cared about the way I look, and at times it’s been to a point of being unhealthy. I remember as a teenager spending nearly every dollar I earned on the latest clothes, shoes, or accessories. This is embarrassing, but I even kept a list of outfits that I’d worn trying to see how long I could go without wearing the same shirt twice. I was able to go way too long. Now I have a small stash in a closet here. The stash has changed some over the past few months, but it’s still the smallest amount of clothes I’ve ever lived with, which is still much more than the average Ugandan will ever own. I am grateful for each piece of clothing. God is stripping this idol.

Television… Both homes that I have lived in during the past 10 months do not have a television. I have learned to deal with it. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be up on the latest series. I have no clue what’s happened on American Idol this year… and it’s ok. It’s funny how easy it is to get away from these things when you aren’t seeing the commercials for them every day. I do miss watching the news every morning, but God is stripping away this idol.

Home…. I like my house. I like the things in it. I know how I like things to run. I know my house rules. I know just where to find things (probably not any more!). But instead I’ve lived in someone else’s house for 10 months. This has been a huge blessing… HUGE. But it’s also learning to live in someone else’s world. I must make do with what I have before me. I don’t need all of the “stuff” in my house to make it through the day. The idol of stuff and comforts of home is getting stripped away.

Control… this is a big one for me. I like to know what’s going to happen and when. I like to plan the details. I like to be in charge. And guess what, at this point, I am pretty much in charge or in control of nothing. My fate lies entirely in the hands of others and I must work/live on their timetable. This one is hard for me, but I’ve learned that it can be done because God is ultimately in charge. When I try to take too much control, it becomes my idol and things get messed up. Another thing the Lord is stripping away.

Friends… I have great friends. Friends from all over the US and I’m used to having them just a phone call or drive away. I’ve always had just the person to call for each crisis, funny moment, or piece of advice. My friends can be my comfort zone. I am blessed in getting to talk to them through email, Facebook, and the occasional Skype visit, but it’s not the same. I miss my friends. But guess what, God’s made me get out of my comfort zone and make new friends. Many of which I would not normally have met-- people from all over the world. But more importantly, God’s made me turn to Him in my time of need more than to my friends. When your friends are not around or when they are in the wrong time zone you learn to turn to God first. Stripping away my idols!

Family… this is probably the biggest idol for me. I don’t know how many times I’ve sat in church or a bible study and we’ve discussed “idols” and husband and children have always been on the list. I’ve always thought, but God would never ask me to get rid of them or put them aside. So I’m ok on this one. But am I really? Do I really trust God to take care of my family without me? Would I really give up a year of life with Emma and Avery just to follow God’s will? Can I really sacrifice my husband and best friend for God? Will I be willing to love and serve God no matter the outcome of this adoption? These are all things I’ve struggled with the last 10 months. I know God wants families to be together. I know that husbands and wives are meant to live together. I know that God sets the orphans in families. But I think that God has also wanted to show me that I must put Him first… even before my kids and my husband. I can still serve Him, even when my heart aches for my family to be united. I can trust Him, even when my family is being attacked. He loves me, and I must entrust my family to Him. Stripped.

I don’t share these things to bring any attention to myself. I really have not done anything that noteworthy, but God has done a tremendous work. It’s been painful. It’s brought up lots of things about myself that I did not want to face. Will I do whatever God asks even if it hurts, even if it doesn’t make sense, even when I am criticized? Some days I have answered this question better than others, but I’ve learned that it must be a day to day decision. Today I choose to follow.