So Blessed!

I should have written this blog post earlier in the week, so I apologize. While Cody was here we had the idea of buying a bunch of yummy Ugandan coffee and tea and serving it at church as a thank you for all of their prayers and support. Our church family has been amazing. I know I’ve told you before, but they have gone above and beyond with bringing meals to Cody, Emma, and Avery, offering extra babysitting, sending lots of emails and cards, praying for us. The list goes on and on. Cody and I were both very excited for the coffee and tea bar this past Sunday. We knew it was something small, but a fun way to show our appreciation. We didn’t know that the church had a surprise for us.

As you know, we’ve done fundraising for this adoption and with my prolonged stay here the costs have added up. But we’ve also been very cautious about asking the church for money. Besides through this blog and Facebook, we’ve never mentioned to the church about our t-shirt sales or other fundraisers. We would never in any way want to abuse Cody’s position or make people feel obligated to give. So this past Sunday, Cody and I were shocked to receive a very generous gift from our church family. While Cody was over here in Uganda the personnel committee at the church decided to collect a love offering for us. I laughed to myself that here we were trying to say thank you for all they’ve done and then they go and do more. We are so humbled and we feel so loved. We’ve watched God provide every step of the way, and again I will say, we could not make it through this time without our church family. Much love to you all!

Lessons Learned

As you all know, these past 30 weeks have been very difficult.  I feel like I am on a constant roller coaster of emotions.  Even within one day, everything can be so up and down.  I feel like I never know what is coming up next in this soap opera of a story.  Sometimes my mind swirls with so many different thoughts.  Way too often I jump to worst-case scenario.  I like to plan.  I like to know how things are going to pan out.  So, I'm continually trying to figure this all out- good or bad.  But I've found that way too often this just leaves me riddled with fear.  I've said so many times that I could endure this all if I just knew how it was all going to end or when it would end.  However, God keeps reminding me that is now how He operates.  We don't get to know the future, we just have to trust in the One who does.  Man, that is a hard lesson for me to learn.

I've been searching scripture a lot and I keep finding the promises of God.  God loves me.  He loves Mercy.  He loves Cody, Emma and Avery.  God has a plan.  God is faithful.  God is good.  God is merciful, forgiving, patient, and just.  So many reminders throughout scripture of the greatness of our God.  The Lord does not want me covered up in fear.  So when I feel it creeping up, I pray and beg him to take it from me.  When I start to drive myself crazy with plotting and planning, I remind myself that we aren't working in my timetable.  Some days I am much better at this than others.

I had another perfectly timed reading in "Jesus Calling" the other day.  I worry about how Emma and Avery are handling everything. I fear that life will become way too normal without me. I worry about Cody taking care of everything that he does. I fear for Mercy and her future. I worry about how long I will be here. And then I read, "This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in my Presence, where you are complete....As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possession in my care." Wow. The past few months, I've learned to live without a lot of possessions. And I'm ok with that. But releasing my most prized possessions (Emma, Avery, Mercy, and Cody)... that is a different story. Releasing my control. Oh boy, that's one I'm working on daily. God loves my family more than I do. He cares about our futures. He wants to use us to glorify Him. If I really believe that then I can release my fear and worry and rest in Him.


I'm sure some of you think that I am pretty crazy at this point.  When I took my first mission trip to Uganda and left my girls for 2.5 weeks I had people question how a mother/wife could leave her family for so long.  So, I can only wonder what those people are thinking now. I don't know exactly how to explain all of this. .  I don't like it.  I miss Cody, Emma, and Avery like crazy.  I question my sanity regularly.  At times I get bitter, angry, sad, frustrated, but I feel confident that right now I am doing what God wants me to do.  Mercy is worth the fight, the pain, and the heartache.  She is a part of our family.  A sweet friend that was in Uganda a few months ago sent me an email yesterday.  She said that many people don't understand adoption.  They don't understand how I can love Mercy like I love my biological children.  They don't understand why I would put my family through all of this.  But she said that if people could see firsthand, me and Mercy together they would know.  "I have seen that child in your arms. I have seen her smile only for you and cling to you and turn to you for protection and reassurance. I have seen her love you because you are her mommy. She is yours and you are hers."  I love this and it makes me teary-eyed to read it.  This is why I am here... even when it seems insane.

Life in Pictures

Just a few random pictures from our time with Cody...



Mercy in the Middle!

We stopped briefly at the equator on our way back from Lake Mburo.

They are adorable.  Love this!



My big cheesy face over Cody's surprise birthday cake from Harriett!



Cody's cheesy face while eating the cake.  It was yummy!

One of my favorite moments of the visit... When Harriett asked me how I married a man that I looked so much alike?"  I said, "Really, you think we look like the same?"  She said, "Yes it's the noses."  Hmmm...  Africans are not so good at telling mzungus apart. ;)



Me singing with the kids

Last weekend we got to visit my friend Kathy's orphanage, Redeemer House.  They recently moved to a new location near Jinja.  Such a great place!  On Saturdays they have "Bible Club" for the neighborhood kids.  They asked the visitors to say a word, so I got to share for a minute and then sing "Making Melodies" with them.  It made me miss my "Libraries of Love" friends. I hope you all have the song stuck in your heads now. ha!!


YUMMY!

And this is not from Cody's visit, but in his honor.  Cinnamon rolls are one of his favorite things in life.  I don't want you all to think that I'm totally suffering and starving over here.  Harriett made homemade cinnamon rolls.  Oh my word, they were delicious!!

Mercy Monday and Mangoes

It’s sort of funny to me how it also seems to work out that we need extra prayer on Mondays. So, I’m asking again for another “Mercy Monday”. There are a couple of potentially big things happening tomorrow. Pray for these meetings to happen. Pray for hearts to be softened and for the best interests of Mercy to be at the forefront of everyone’s minds. And as Cody prepares to go home on Tuesday, pray for our hearts as we, yet again, prepare for separation. Remember that our morning activities start around midnight CST, so please start praying for us as you go to bed tonight.

And a random bizarre fact for you… the skin of mangoes contains the same type of oil as poison oak and poison ivy and can cause an allergic reaction in some people. How do I know this? Let’s just say I ate a lot of mango this week and now my mouth is paying for it.

A Simple Request

This is a post to give a brief synopsis of our adoption story.  A sweet lady and fellow pastor's wife who has an amazing blog A Place Called Simplicity is taking prayer requests for adoption situations.  Thousands of people read her blog each day and commit to pray for people.  I got to meet one of this lady's precious daughters, Abi,  while she and her husband were here adopting a baby last fall.  Abi even sent me an awesome care package last month with books for Mercy, magazines, CD's, and snacks.  Love her!! 

Anyway, on to our synopsis... I met a sweet 3 week old baby girl in Uganda in June of 2009 while here on a mission trip.  Shortly after, my husband I started pursuing adoption of her.  In August of 2010 I came back to Uganda to go to court for the adoption.  In September 2010 we were granted an adoption.  Unfortunately because of some discrepencies in the documentation I have not been able to get Mercy a visa.  I have now been in Uganda 29 weeks (- 2.5 weeks for Christmas).  The last 21 weeks I have been trying to get the discrepencies resolved within the Ugandan court system to no avail.  My sweet husband has been home taking care of our two other daughters and managing life at home.  By miraculous events, my husband has been in Uganda with me for the last week and a half for a visit.  We keep hitting roadblock after roadblock, but we love this child with all of our hearts.  She has no one else willing to care for her and we are willing to do whatever it takes to get her home with us.  Please pray for us to find a way to resolution and for Mercy to be issued a visa as soon as possible.  As you can well imagine, this has been draining on the whole family.  But God is good and continues to use this time for good.  We trust Him and His timing and He is the reason we've been able to endure this trial so far.  Thank you for your prayers and I hope you'll look back through my blog to see the many ways we've seen God at work on this "Road to Mercy".

Be sure to check out A Place Called Simplicity for more families in the adoption process that need prayer.

More Weekend Moments by Melissa

On Friday, Ellen, Mercy and I stayed through morning tea and the introductions.  My favorite part was the children, most of whom were orphans, singing and dancing as a welcome to the visitors.  Mercy loved watching the children and danced right along with them.    Most of the people were not sure what to think of this African baby with the mzungu parents.  They watched our every move.  At one point as we were waiting for the meeting to start Ellen and I were chatting with Pastor Fred.  This was his first time to meet Ellen, who is usually referred to as “Mama Ellen”.  He told Ellen that he was so glad to finally meet “Mama” and that he hoped her breasts were ready.  Ellen and I both looked at each other to make sure we heard him correctly.  He said, “The people will be so excited to meet Mama, you’ll have to breastfeed them all.”  Oh my!!  Then during the introductions he mentioned this again in front of everyone.  He said “Mama, see all of these children.  They are all ready for you to breastfeed them now.”  It was so funny and so hard for me to not laugh out loud.  I’m sure it was his metaphor for mothering and loving on the people, but to this American woman, it was just hilarious.

Mercy and Jaa Jaa



Children welcoming us



Herb's group handshake

After introductions, Herb took us ladies to our hotel in a nearby town. We knew Mercy would not last long during the teaching. The hotel was a great place with a huge yard in the front. Mercy and I took a nap, then we hung outside the rest of the time. There were about 6 chickens running around the yard, so Mercy chased them around and looked for anyone who would bring her near them. A couple of hours later, a man came and rounded up the chickens and then we heard some major squawking and we had to tell Mercy that the chickens went “bye-bye”. They did make for a tasty dinner. The hotel also had music playing in the front, so she drug me and Ellen both up there numerous times to dance. She’d stand and motion to you to “come” and then as we got to the music she would point and say “dance”. She was getting down with it. She got so low a few times that she fell all the way down. The hotel staff was quite entertained with her and often gathered around to watch.

Before leaving for the hotel, Cody asked me if I needed any extra diapers from the trunk he had. I told him that we would be fine with the ones I had in my bad. I was wrong. About 4 o’ clock I changed a messy diaper and realized that was the last one. Hmmm, what was I going to do. I couldn’t let her run around naked, even though that’s what they would do in the village. I didn’t want her to get it on her clothes as we only had a few outfits packed. Then it hit me, I’d have to make my own somehow. With limited supplies on-hand, I took a plastic bag that is supposed to be for dirty diapers and made two leg holes in it. I stuffed a bunch of toilet paper inside of it and then cinched it up around her waist and put a pair of pajama shorts over the top. I was pretty proud of myself. Ellen and I got a good laugh out of it, but I realized it probably wouldn’t last until the guys got back, so I finally, got on a boda and prayed that the local market would have some diapers, and thankfully they did. The best part, her diaper stayed totally dry until Cody got back. Ha!!


I'm a genius... ha!!

The next morning we got up early and drove the rest of the way to Lake Mburo National Park.  We went on a couple of game drives and saw many animals.  We saw lots of different types of antelope, including Impala.  We also saw hippos, water buffalo, warthogs, zebras, bush and water buck, monkeys, baboons, and many birds.  We even saw a dead zebra that we think was half-eaten by a lion.  That certainly makes you realize you are seeing the real deal and not at a Disney Wildlife Adventure.  We had a picnic lunch out on the savannah, while a water buffalo stared at us through the whole meal.  Then after lunch, Cody, Mercy and I went on a boat ride around the lake.  We had a great time and Mercy serenaded us with “Baby Jesus” the whole way.  We even got to see a baby hippo lying on its mother’s back.  Mama was all the way under the water, so it was so cute to see the little one just perched on top.  As we got off the boat, we realized that Herb was nowhere to be found.  He was our ride back to the camping/banda area where we were staying.  I tried to call him, but there was no service.  Cody and I decided we’d just walk.  We knew it wasn’t very far.  Yeah, we were wrong.  About 30 minutes later we got to the campsite.  On the way, we passed some wildlife.  Then we read a sign that said because of the wildlife you should only walk through the park with an armed guard.  Oops!!



The long walk back!



Sunset at Mburo

The next morning we had one last game drive as we left the park.  Then we headed back to the village to pick up Abdul and Pastor Fred.  When we went to get Pastor Fred he asked if he could bring a few things back with him for his house in Kampala.  Herb agreed.  That was before we realized how much stuff it was.  Oh my!    The heavy load could have been part of the reason why we ended up with car problems and we had to stop 4 times for a leaking radiator hose.  Got to love Africa!  We did get to stop briefly at the equator for a couple of photos. 

During the long (11 hour) ride, Mercy did remarkably well.  Somehow, Cody worked it so he always got to hold her while she was sleeping and I got the job while she was awake and wild, but it worked.  The only major incident was when she got a bit annoyed and threw one of her books out the window into traffic.  Herb asked if we needed to stop and get it, I said no way!  We definitely got our money’s worth from that $1 book from Target.     We finally made it home, washed lots of red dirt off our bodies and our hair and crashed for the night.  It was a great trip.  Cody was blessed to get the chance to teach, we all enjoyed the wildlife and God’s creations, and certainly enjoyed the company.

Teaching the Teacher.. a Cody post



Daddy and Mercy



It has been a full week. My reintroduction to Mercy has been great. Dad is a little more terrifying in real life than he is on the computer screen. However, she has quickly warmed to me and we’re good buddies. She is so much bigger than when I last saw her in early October. She took her first steps the day I left last October. Now she is all over. She has grown so much also. Much taller and much heavier. It won’t be long until she is the one carrying Melissa in the sling. She understands English perfectly (and selectively), and even speaks it every now and then. She has so many words, and can say anything you want her to, as long as the mood is right. She is still as much of a clown as ever. She loves to play and laugh and tease. She is personality plus…no fear of strangers, and she makes friends everywhere she goes. Mercy is also crazy about Melissa’s hosts, Herb and Ellen. She calls Herb ‘papa’ and Ellen ‘ja ja.’ She is never lacking for an audience. It is so good to be with her.
  Friday we left at 5am for a village called Kyzonga (sounds like Chizanga). We were accompanied by Herb and Ellen, our friend Abdul, as well as Pastor Fred. Fred has helped start four churches in towns around Kyzonga, and is connected to several pastors in the area. He had put out the word that we were coming. Once in the village we turned off the main road and drove up a rough dirt road into the hills beyond the village. We drove past many people pushing their bicycles towards the main road, loaded down either with giant bushels of bananas or jerry-cans full of water. We passed several clusters of homes, each with children in front. Without fail, as we passed the children would yell, “A muzungu!” Smiling, laughing, waving, and of course we waved and smiled back.



We finally arrived at Pastor Benjamin’s property, which is where the church is located. Mud house and mud church are separated by only a few feet...wide enough for people and chickens to pass through. Pastor Benjamin had been working hard all morning, as he does every morning. He was wearing his work clothes and a large brimmed hat and greeted us vigorously. Several children eyed us cautiously, but welcomed a hand shake, and smiled when we greeted them in their language. It was thirty minutes past our planned start time and there was one man standing outside the church by his bicycle, and one elderly woman in her Sunday best. Fred told us it would be a small crowd, but they would be arriving soon. The size of the crowd was of no concern to any of us.


By western standards none of us would recognize the building as a church. It is a small mud structure with sheet metal for the roof. The mud building is surrounded by a partially completed brick structure. Progress is measured by the rows of bricks. Herb noted that there were two more rows this time than his last visit in October. Inside, earthen floor is distinguished from earthen walls only by a layer of grass strewn on the dirt like the finest carpet. The pulpit is on a ‘stage’ which is nothing more than a raised mud platform. The wall behind the stage is covered by a large white sheet. The seating is a series of handmade wooden benches. The instruments for worship were three traditional drums, much clapping, and beautiful voices. There is, of course, no electricity. However, there was one detail that would be familiar to most of us. On the cross beam, which runs across the room, just in front of the pulpit, is a clock. Apparently being a village pastor does not exempt one from careful time management.


We were shown wonderful hospitality by Pastor Benjamin and his wife. We were taken into their home for tea time; fruit, hard boiled eggs, and African milk tea. It was a gracious meal. When we went back out to the church the room had filled with people. Pastor Benjamin was in his suit, as were the others. There were about seven pastors who came, some with their wives, and some with others from their church. At our peak we had 100 people crammed in this little room. I was conscious throughout that they had all given up a day of valuable work to come and learn about the Old Testament.

Cody preparing to teach



The beginning crowd

Pastor Fred translated effortlessly. I brought with me simple workbooks and pens for everyone, as they have few if any resources. Due to the language difference the workbooks were not of primary importance, but will be used in the days ahead. As I taught, the temperature in the room began to rise. With my head closer to the metal roof than anyone else I was only affected slightly more than the men in their suits, and the women in their dresses. In case you ever teach in the village, you need to be aware that the mothers have different ideas of decency when it comes to breastfeeding their children. At first it can be alarming, but you can keep your eyes on your notes until junior is finished.


After two hours we stopped for lunch. It is amazing to me that they were able to feed everyone. Lunch was rice and beans for the general population, but some different foods for the pastors and their company. We had matoke in ground-nut sauce, posho, greens, cassava, pork stew, and a version of eggplant that looks like peas, only bitter beyond comprehension. To drink we had water which someone had collected that morning from the bore-hole. It was boiled then spiced with ginger to give it a better taste. I ate and drank with gratefulness.


One pastor and his group had to leave after lunch in order to begin their walk home…ten miles. They walked ten miles that morning, sat through two hours of teaching, an hour for lunch, then another ten miles to get home. We noticed that out of this church full of people there were only four bicycles outside. Everyone else walked.

A couple of the pastors' bicycles

I taught for another hour after lunch…temperature rising…people still arriving…eyes focused on Fred…pens scribbling furiously…and multiple outbursts of loud praise at the goodness of the Word. It was a remarkable privilege to have been taught by our brothers and sisters that day.