Stripping Away My Idols

Long ago, back in the fall (seems like forever ago!), when I was living with the Howards, Beth made up a song called, “Stripping Away My Idols”. She would sing it every time God brought to mind all of the things/people/comforts/titles, etc. from America that she was missing. It would get stuck in my head and drive me crazy. The other day it came to mind out of nowhere, and it made me think of how true this statement has been for my life the past 10 months. I can hear Beth’s voice in my head belting it out and it makes me laugh, but the statement really holds a lot of truth. I can’t begin to figure out why God has led us on this path. There are a million little things I can point to and there are many things I’ve learned. I don’t know that I’ll ever look back and say, “Ok, this one things is THE reason why I had to live this long in Uganda and fight tooth and nail to get Mercy home. “ But one thing that I’ve learned is to depend on God more than ever, which is easier to do, when so many of my common idols are so far away.

Clothing… I’ve always cared about the way I look, and at times it’s been to a point of being unhealthy. I remember as a teenager spending nearly every dollar I earned on the latest clothes, shoes, or accessories. This is embarrassing, but I even kept a list of outfits that I’d worn trying to see how long I could go without wearing the same shirt twice. I was able to go way too long. Now I have a small stash in a closet here. The stash has changed some over the past few months, but it’s still the smallest amount of clothes I’ve ever lived with, which is still much more than the average Ugandan will ever own. I am grateful for each piece of clothing. God is stripping this idol.

Television… Both homes that I have lived in during the past 10 months do not have a television. I have learned to deal with it. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be up on the latest series. I have no clue what’s happened on American Idol this year… and it’s ok. It’s funny how easy it is to get away from these things when you aren’t seeing the commercials for them every day. I do miss watching the news every morning, but God is stripping away this idol.

Home…. I like my house. I like the things in it. I know how I like things to run. I know my house rules. I know just where to find things (probably not any more!). But instead I’ve lived in someone else’s house for 10 months. This has been a huge blessing… HUGE. But it’s also learning to live in someone else’s world. I must make do with what I have before me. I don’t need all of the “stuff” in my house to make it through the day. The idol of stuff and comforts of home is getting stripped away.

Control… this is a big one for me. I like to know what’s going to happen and when. I like to plan the details. I like to be in charge. And guess what, at this point, I am pretty much in charge or in control of nothing. My fate lies entirely in the hands of others and I must work/live on their timetable. This one is hard for me, but I’ve learned that it can be done because God is ultimately in charge. When I try to take too much control, it becomes my idol and things get messed up. Another thing the Lord is stripping away.

Friends… I have great friends. Friends from all over the US and I’m used to having them just a phone call or drive away. I’ve always had just the person to call for each crisis, funny moment, or piece of advice. My friends can be my comfort zone. I am blessed in getting to talk to them through email, Facebook, and the occasional Skype visit, but it’s not the same. I miss my friends. But guess what, God’s made me get out of my comfort zone and make new friends. Many of which I would not normally have met-- people from all over the world. But more importantly, God’s made me turn to Him in my time of need more than to my friends. When your friends are not around or when they are in the wrong time zone you learn to turn to God first. Stripping away my idols!

Family… this is probably the biggest idol for me. I don’t know how many times I’ve sat in church or a bible study and we’ve discussed “idols” and husband and children have always been on the list. I’ve always thought, but God would never ask me to get rid of them or put them aside. So I’m ok on this one. But am I really? Do I really trust God to take care of my family without me? Would I really give up a year of life with Emma and Avery just to follow God’s will? Can I really sacrifice my husband and best friend for God? Will I be willing to love and serve God no matter the outcome of this adoption? These are all things I’ve struggled with the last 10 months. I know God wants families to be together. I know that husbands and wives are meant to live together. I know that God sets the orphans in families. But I think that God has also wanted to show me that I must put Him first… even before my kids and my husband. I can still serve Him, even when my heart aches for my family to be united. I can trust Him, even when my family is being attacked. He loves me, and I must entrust my family to Him. Stripped.

I don’t share these things to bring any attention to myself. I really have not done anything that noteworthy, but God has done a tremendous work. It’s been painful. It’s brought up lots of things about myself that I did not want to face. Will I do whatever God asks even if it hurts, even if it doesn’t make sense, even when I am criticized? Some days I have answered this question better than others, but I’ve learned that it must be a day to day decision. Today I choose to follow.

Moments with Mercy

Just a few laughs for you about my girl. To say she is an active two-year old may be an understatement.  She seriously keeps me on my toes.  She's fast.  Like really fast.  And as soon as your are the least bit distracted she is gone... climbing up the stairs to the neighbor's house, heading to the guard's room to visit, going next door to play with her friend, or climbing (maybe scaling is a better word) anything around. 

Yes, that's my daughter running around the compound with no pants or diaper on.  Oops!

The other day I filled a basin with water, put her in her swimsuit, and then gave her some toy cups and things to play with.  This is her heaven.  Pouring and splashing are her specialty.  The trouble, when I brought her inside I forgot to empty the basin.  Hours later, she escaped and where should I find her... sitting in the basin with all of her clothes on.  Thank goodness we didn't need to go anywhere.

Last night I told her that in a few minutes she was going to take a shower.  Then I was finishing up talking to Billy about some Oasis business when we heard the water and Mercy saying, "hot, hot".  She'd gone into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and was standing there soaking wet with her clothes on.  Oh my!  And don't worry, she says anything above lukewarm is hot, so she wasn't burned or anything. 

She showed off her smarts the other day for the "Libraries of Love" team.  I mentioned in my last post that they brought treats for Oasis, but they also brought things for me and Mercy.   They brought all kinds of goodies.  Mercy loved it and quickly gobbled up several of them, including mini-Oreos.   With no demonstration, she instinctively knew to pull the cookies apart and lick out the middle.  That's my girl!

While visiting with the ladies, Mercy refused to talk.  She acts shy around new people.  They finally got her giggling, but not talking.  I knew what I was in for on the way home... she talked the whole way.  It was like she'd bottled it all up from the past two hours and she let it loose.  The boda driver finally said, "She sure does make a lot of noise."  ha!!

And remember a couple of weeks ago when the first "Libraries of Love" team was here.  My friend, Debbie, on that team is a child development specialist and works for a program called "Parents as Teachers" in our school district.  Debbie knows that I always want to know about development things, so she brought all of the evaluations, fact sheets, and enrollment forms for me.  Mercy may be the only child internationally registered for PAT in the Mulvane District.  I love that Debbie knows me well enough to know I would want to know these things.  We laughed a few times while answering some of the questions.   I refused to answer questions like, "Does your child always ride in a proper car seat?", "Does your child wear a helmet and pads while riding a bicycle? (they don't mean motorcycles, right??), "Does your child receive regular medical checkups?".  Oh my, I don't have to answer these questions while in Africa.  I'll be happy to answer them later.  But the good news... Mercy is doing great and is right on track developmentally, which is amazing considering the baby I found last August when I came.

For the 4th of July, we went to a celebration hosted by the US Embassy and the American Club in Kampala.  It was a lot of fun.  They had hamburgers and hot dogs, entertainment of all kinds, little games for the kids, and face painting.  Mercy and I have seen face painting several other places, but she's always been to scared to get it done. Not this time.  When I asked her is she wanted her face painted, she confidently said, "Yes" (sounds like yesh).  There was quite the line so I told the guy to do a fast butterfly, which meant a half of one, but it sure was cute and she was very proud.  The evening ended with a fireworks show.  Mercy was petrified and refused to even look at them.  But I thought they were beautiful and they made me feel like I was back in the good ol' USA... for a brief moment.

Please continue to pray for us.  We are waiting for progress and praying for more patience.

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." Psalm 20:7
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 17:14

More Help for Oasis

In the past week or so we've been busily working on things at Oasis of Life.  My friend, Billy, is working with me on this project.  He's been a huge help and it's always good to get the input and opinions of my Ugandan friends.  We've been working on getting all of the school supplies, sorting out shoes that did not fit, getting quotes on repairs to the plumbing and then for adding water and electricity at the boys' house.  We've also been working on a comprehensive list of all of the children, ages, grade, and school they attend. 

Then yesterday we got to bring our dear friends out to Oasis.  This group from Illinois is the part of "Libraries of Love".  I've mentioned some of these women before on here.  They've been some of our biggest adoption supporters and I'm so grateful for them.  When they heard about Oasis they knew they wanted to come for a visit.  Their leader, Debbie, asked me a week or so before they left if I needed her to bring me anything. I told her that if they had extra space that it would be great if they could gather up some used backpacks for the children at Oasis.  Virtually all of the children needed a bag.  The ones you buy new here are poorly made and don't last long.  You can buy used bags that are sturdier, but they are pretty expensive.  I had bought bags for the secondary students last week because some of the children had been sent home from school for not having a bag.  But I still needed bags for the primary school children.  Wow, Debbie and the group came through in a big way.  They ordered 48 brand-new bags for the kids.  They even thought to bring fabric markers with them to write their names on them.  The children were thrilled!  I'm pretty sure a few of them may have slept with their bags still on.

Here is another cool story of God's provision.  Debbie said several months ago someone gave her a giant bag of cloth diapers to give to whomever.  Debbie packed them in her bag a few weeks ago and figured they'd find someone to give them to.  Then I emailed her and asked for the backpacks.... and cloth diapers.  Lo and behold, she told me she already had them packed and was wondering who God was saving them for.  Now we know.  The caretakers were very glad to receive these diapers and so am I.  Now I can hold babies with little fear of getting wet.

The ladies also brought some balls and jump ropes, beanie babies, and some other treats.  And best of all they got to love on the kids.  I think these guys knew some grandma-types when they saw them.  They curled right up in their laps to take a nap.  Or maybe it was all of that singing and dancing that wore them out.  Oh, do these kids have some dance moves!  I must get video of them. Too cute.



This is Billy Paul (not to be confused with Billy), he is not a grandma, but isn't he cute with the sleeping little one?

 Thank you so much for your love and support for the children of Oasis.  They are very grateful and so am I.

Provision

Sometimes God’s provision simply amazes me.  It probably shouldn’t, but it does.  A couple of weeks ago I was burdened with how in the world I would get all of the medical needs at Oasis met.  I thought about how I would get all of the kids to a clinic, which clinic would I trust, how much money it would cost.  Then God provided in a huge way.  A medical mission team from the US was staying at Herb and Ellen’s house and offered to come by and check out the kids.  WOW!  Then we realized that the orphanages are only about 10 minutes away from each.  Even more amazing!  So we scheduled their visit for Thursday afternoon.  I had all of the kids skip school to make sure they would be around for the team.  I went out a bit early and got things set up outside for the clinic.  The orphanage is seriously short on space, but I decided that we could split up the group of boys and girls and have the medical team in the main courtyard and the waiting children could play inside the house.  I took my time setting up the chairs, just so, to give adequate space for the doctor/nurse, child, and translator.  Then Billy and I went to meet up with the team and lead them over to Oasis.  When we got to the other orphanage they were running behind.  No big surprise there… this is Africa (TIA).  Finally after about an hour or so we left for Oasis.  I wondered how in the world we were going to have time to get nearly 70 children examined and get everyone home at a decent time.  Then to complicate things more, as soon as we arrived at Oasis and the children were ending their welcome songs… the skies opened up.  It was POURING!  We quickly moved the tables and supplies inside.  Our only choice was to set up in the main room of the girls’ house.  It was VERY crowded and very dark.  So much for my careful planning!  Every inch of the room was utilized and people were crawling over each other.  I really started to think that there was no way this was going to work.  I figured that maybe half of the exams would get done.   We weighed and measured each child.  Then they met with a nurse for a first evaluation.  Then she would decide if they needed to be seen by one of the doctor.  My favorite part was seeing the doctors and nurses pray for each child individually before finishing their exam.  It was beautiful to watch.  And, by an act of God, all of the children were seen in less than three hours.  I couldn’t believe it, especially since the majority of kids needed medication and/or follow up.  It was a miracle.

Dr. Cindy's one phrase in Luganda... "Open please."



Can you see how crowded it was??



Praying to the Divine Healer

In the end there was a huge list of medications for the children.  I again worried how in the world this was going to get done.  Who could we trust to get each child the correct medication and dosage?  Then I realized that God had again provided.  A young lady was there that day to help out.  I am told that she is a regular volunteer at Oasis.  She’s in nursing school and is a very sharp young lady.  She agreed to come every morning and evening this next week to help ensure that the children get their medicines.  This was a huge relief for me.  There is no way that I could do that job myself.  I love to see Him provide over and over.

This is Gift, isn't he a doll?  Loving the hat!

Then on Friday, I got to deliver another blessing.  One of the children at Oasis, Rachel, is handicapped.  She’s never been able to walk.  She’s had a wheelchair before, but it’s been broken for some time.  She spent all of her time lying in bed and getting ignored.  And without a wheelchair she could not go to school or interact much with the other children.  When I met her, I immediately thought of a friend of Aunt Trudy’s that passes out free wheelchairs in Uganda.  Friday, Trudy and I, along with my friends, Debbie and Caleb, go to deliver the wheelchair to Rachel.  She was so excited and her face instantly lit up.  We wheeled her outside and she practiced pushing herself back and forth.  And the best part was when the older girls came home from school, one of them immediately rushed up to Rachel, gave her a hug, and told her how excited she was about her chair.  The smile on Rachel’s face as she got to participate with everyone else was priceless.



Thrilled for her new ride





Rachel and Annah



Some of the Big Boys showing off their new uniforms and shoes



The little ones welcoming Trudy, Debbie, and Caleb on Friday

God provided for me as well.  He sent me Aunt Trudy,  Debbie and Caleb for the weekend.  They were such a blessing and a joy to be around.  They were all serving on this year’s “Libraries of Love” team.  Debbie and Caleb were representing our church.  They decided to skip the team’s safari to hang out with me and Mercy.  It was so nice to be around some familiar faces and people who really know me and my family.  And I loved watching Mercy build relationships with people that I know she’ll spend lots of time with in the future.  It was also a bonus that I had a million and one things to do, things that are not easy to do with a busy toddler, and God provided some wonderful helpers.   Each of them jumped right in and entertained Mercy as much as possible.  And Mercy loved them.  Even my driver, Brian, commented that he’d never seen Mercy so comfortable with new people.  We laughed and caught up on life and I had fun showing them a few of my favorite things around my neighborhood.  God knew just what we needed this weekend.



First Boda Ride for Debbie, off to get pizza

I think Caleb liked it.



Mercy LOVES him.  He may be our new babysitter!



Mercy showing them how to play in the dirt.

We are also asking for God’s provision this week in our case.  Please pray for positive movement and for decisions to be made.

Why Every Man Should Be A Woman

A Cody post.
I’m not talking about the long term, but in the short term. I believe that it would be most beneficial for every married man to live for a short period of time as a single parent. You will never view your wife the same.

Now I know that my experience is not universally true. Some men are far more in tune with their wives than I was back in August of 2010. They don’t need to learn this lesson. So I give those six men permission to skip what follows. I have not been a distant husband. I have always been keenly aware of my wife’s hard work, or so I thought.

When we moved to Kansas five years ago we made the decision for Melissa to stay at home. It was difficult for her at first. She is a busy woman, and if she is not busy she finds a way to be busy. For Melissa busy = rest. For me rest = rest. It was an adjustment for her, but she soon discovered/created plenty of work to be done. She was busy with the girls, busy with their schools, busy with church stuff, busy with house stuff, busy, busy, busy.

I was also busy at work, or so I thought. Pastoral ministry has its own pace, its busy seasons, its hectic days. It also has slow times to read, study, pray, converse. However, regardless of the speed of my day I always came home feeling that I had worked hard. So I admit that there were days in the past that I would find the house a bit dirty, or the floor needing sweeping, and think to myself, “Why hasn’t this been done? What was she doing all day that she couldn’t do these simple things? How hard is it to remember to buy milk?” Then I would sink into my recliner, and wait for these things to be done while a nap crept over me.

Then she left on a plane for Uganda.

My perspective has changed.

The laundry never ends. The dishes never cease. The floors are dirty five minutes after they’re cleaned. The children must be febreezed daily. Hair must be fixed every morning. Groceries must always be bought. The girls need new clothes for every new season. The showers aren’t cleaned automatically by my soapy runoff. If you don’t clean toilets regularly, the house smells like it! If you don’t empty the trash regularly, the house smells like it! If you don’t bathe your wife’s stupid dog, the house smells like it! If you forget to take your load of towels out of the washer and put them in the dryer, the house smells like it! And you cannot light enough Scentsys to cover the odor! Your place will just smell like pomegranate barf.

And let me tell you a little secret…I haven’t done all this on my own! Three nights a week I have wonderful amazing friends who bring us dinner! So the truth is I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO WORK LIKE MY WIFE!!!

Do any of you men wonder why your wife collapses on the couch every night after the kids are finally in bed? You’re ready for alone time, but she’s having coma time. It’s because she has worked like a rented mule the whole day! And we have no concept of how much work our wives have done. If you want your wife to stay awake a bit later, for some “business time,” I give you this tip. Help her. Do her work. Sweep it, wash it, sort it, scrub it, fry it, bake it, fold it, vacuum it. And then, when the kids are finally in bed, you’re all alone, and it’s “business time,”…you’ll find that both of you are asleep on the couch unable to move from all the work you’ve done. 

So I’ve learned a few lessons.

1. I can’t wait for Melissa to return, not because I want to hand off the work, but so I can share in the work.
2. When left to myself I quickly revert to my college days. Rather than hanging up my clean clothes right away I live out of piles.
3. Sitting down to pee is not about anatomy, but recovery.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

Shoe Frenzy

Today was an exciting day for the kids of Oasis of Life.  New shoes for everyone!  I headed to Owino, which is the craziest market in the country.  It’s sort of like a flea market, but more crammed, crowded, and claustrophobic than you can imagine.  I took the group of college students from OBU with me and my friend, Billy.  Thankfully, Harriet and Ellen decided I better leave Mercy at home with them. (Bless them both, especially since they ended up with her all day!  Love them!)  Last night I divided the tracings of all of the kids’ and caretakers’ feet into groups.  Then I divided up the money and got everyone a roll of tape and a pen to label the shoes as we went.  I’m so glad I thought to do that ahead of time.  We bought each child a pair of school shoes (they must wear sturdy black dress shoes to school) and then a pair of plastic sandals or croc-type shoes to wear when not at school or church.  We also bought each caretaker a pair of sandals and a pair of rubber work boots.  It ended up being more than 150 pairs of shoes.  We also bought socks and some of the school supplies they’ve needed desperately.



Picture I found online of Owino.  I'm not brave enough to take out my camera and take pics.  This is the outside of the market, and then you walk in deeper and deeper.  It goes on forever.

After the market, we headed to the orphanage to drop off our purchases.  The children who were at home were so excited to see the shoes.  The rest of the team had to head back, so Billy and I stayed to sort out the shoes.  We had to match up the school shoes, sandals, and socks for each child.  The children who were at home tried them on.  Overall we did very well on the fit.  One of the caretakers promised to have all of the other children try their shoes on when they returned from school and make sure they fit.  I can’t wait to see all of the kids in their new shoes.



The boys' shoes



The girls' stash



I was hard at work sorting socks.

Today was long, exhausting, and a bit overwhelming.  We sat in traffic, waded through people, and spent lots of money.  But it’s all worth it when I see children going from this….   



To this.  



One little boy, Elisha, was so excited about his new school shoes that he came up and bowed down in thanks three times and then gave me the biggest hug.  That is what this is all about.  

Sweet Elisha



Happy Father's Day!

There are so many things I could write about my sweet husband this Father’s Day. I have been truly blessed to have an amazing best friend and partner in parenting. He really is a partner. Part of why we are able to make this time apart work is because Cody has always been a hands-on father. He’s always jumped in and helped with every aspect of the children’s lives. He’s changed diapers, given baths, made meals, and taken kids to the doctor. He’s never considered it “babysitting” to watch his own children. He’s always been invested in their lives.

Two years ago tomorrow I met a baby girl in a clinic in a remote village. I held her in my arms and knew she was to be our daughter. I wondered how Cody would react to the news. I should have known. I emailed him about Mercy and he replied right away and said, “Let’s do it.” No hesitation. He’s always had a heart for adoption. He knew that I was serious when I told him God had directed this.

In this past year I’ve seen him grow closer to all three of his daughters. He’s the master of the ponytail. He’s packed too many lunches to count. He’s taken trips to the park, the movies, and even the nail salon. He’s now bought clothes for every season. He’s sent me numerous care packages looking all over the house and town for just the right things to send me and Mercy. He stays up late every night so he can say “Good morning” to me and Mercy. When he’s visited here he’s done everything possible to give me a break and to bond with Mercy. And I can say that all three of his daughters love him dearly.

One of the first questions I get whenever I tell anyone our story is, “How in the world is your husband doing?” I can say he’s doing well. It’s not easy. I know he gets frustrated and his schedule gets crazy. But he knows there is a purpose in all of this. His love for Mercy has never wavered. His obedience remains steady. His love for the Father shines through him. He’s willing to sacrifice for the love of our children. Few men would be willing to live that life that Cody has the past 10 months. Few children get to have the love and bond with a father like my girls. And I am forever grateful.

Happy Father’s Day my Love.  I can't wait until I can see you with all three of your girls at once!

Oh my!  Father's Day 2010

I love this.