Frustrated

I found out today that some of the paperwork that was supposed to be turned in to our attorney in Uganda was not.  It is now pretty safe to assume that we will not get a court date before the court holiday begins on July 15th.  I know there is still a chance for God to move some major mountains and open these doors.  I know that God can do this, but I'm preparing myself mentally that this most likely will not happen.  Hope that doesn't sound like a lack of faith, but just me trying to be practical.

I was thinking in the shower last night.... I do a lot of thinking in there... about the last few weeks of pregnancy with Emma.  About three weeks before my due date my doctor "checked" me.  He told me that I was 3 cm dilated and almost effaced.  He said that he really thought I would go into labor sometime that week and he really expected to see me again before my next appointment in one week.  He even said that if I did make it to my next appointment, he would most likely check me in that day, so I should bring a packed bag.  Now, the practical side of me knew that most first-time mom's do not go into labor early, but the doctor said I should expect it.  So, I rushed home, called my mom and told her to start making her travel plans, finished packing stuff, and made sure everything was ready.  The next week, Cody and I loaded up my bag in the car,  we put the car seat in, just in case.... and nothing had changed and I got sent home.  I just knew it would happen that next week.  I even went ahead and started my maternity leave from work because it was going to happen any day (and I worked 3rd shift and did not want to go into labor in a TV station alone in the middle of the night).  And the next week, I got sent home... again.  The next week (week 3) was going to be Thanksgiving, so the doctor went ahead and scheduled to induce me for the Tuesday after Thanksgiving because he was going to be out of town for the holiday.  Now I had a date on the calendar, so I made all plans and preparation for that day and went about my life for the next week.  I even cooked my first Thanksgiving meal.  Black Friday, I drug Cody to the mall to do all of our Christmas shopping because I knew once Emma arrived it would be tough to get done.  I didn't feel well at the mall, but I blamed it on the large Mexican dinner we had.  I was really tired and sore, but I had to get that shopping done because that was my plan. We got home and went to bed.  About an hour later, I woke up and really didn't feel well and had these strange pains.  I told Cody I was going to hang out on the couch for a while and let him keep sleeping.  I wondered if it was labor, but it did not feel like what I expected, so I tried to convince myself it was not.  My plan was to have the baby on Tuesday, not on Saturday of a holiday weekend.  I stayed up all night timing "pains".  I thought about calling the doctor or going to the hospital, but I was so worried about being that woman that goes to the hospital and they tell her it's nothing and she gets sent home.  For goodness sake, I had already gone to the doctor's office for 3 weeks with a packed bag.  Finally, around 5 am, I called the doctor.  The on-call doctor told me to go to the hospital.  I went to wake up Cody and tell him it was time.  He said, "I don't feel well, why don't you go on without me?"  For real, he really said that.  Then I threw something at his head, repeated myself loudly, and he finally woke up and drove me to the hospital.  Luckily, when I went in the bathroom at the hospital to change into a gown my water broke.  I thought, "Woo hoo!  Now, they have to let me stay!".  Emma was born that Saturday evening, on her due date. 

The point of this long, rambling story... right now, this adoption seems like those last few weeks of pregnancy... minus the pregnancy rash (that was horrible!!).  People keep giving me their estimates of when things will happen. I've created my own plans and agenda. I've pretty much got my bag packed and car seat ready, but I need to wait on God to complete this story in his perfect timing.  Too bad a lot of walking at the mall and Mexican food can't hurry up an adoption. =)