Worth the Fight

The past few days have been rough. I can’t really get into all of the details right now, but we are facing some major obstacles. I hate to be cryptic, but it’s for the best right now. I have cried more in the past three days than I think I have in the past 5 years. From my experience, most Ugandans do not really know what to do with a crying person… especially a man dealing with bawling, mzungu woman. My poor driver yesterday apologized to me about a million times. I think I scarred him for life. All that to say, we are in a tough spot. Cody and I are working hard for a solution and we are very grateful for other people that are helping us along the way. We just ask you to pray for us. We need wisdom and patience. And pray for God to clear a path for us to come home soon. Pray for hearts to be softened. Seriously, I ask each of you to pray for us each time this weekend that we come to mind.


In February when the Embassy stopped issuing visas and families were stuck here for months, I remember thanking God that I was not in the middle of that situation. My heart broke for those families, but I selfishly was glad that it was not me. I told Cody that God didn’t have us in Uganda right then because He knew I couldn’t handle it. I could not handle being away from my family that long, financially it would be a burden, it would be so hard emotionally and I knew I wasn’t strong enough. Wow! I am eating my words now. Here I am in Uganda for 7.5 weeks with no clear end in sight. And guess what I have found out… I am not strong enough. But I am so glad that my God is. Each time in the past few days when I want to crumple onto the floor, God’s picked me up. He’s sent an email, a phone call, a song, a verse--something to me to keep me going. Yesterday in the middle of everything I was sitting in a waiting room with Mercy and John Mary. My mind was swirling with information and worry. I look up and there on the wall is a sign that reads “His Mercies are New Every Morning”. Then I look over and another poster says “With God all things are possible”. We were moved to another waiting room and there one poster said, “’You are not forgotten… your name is inscribed in the palm of His hand” and another, “I will hide in the shadow of His wings”. It was just what I needed to know right then.

I have already had a couple of people ask me what God is teaching me through this and what purpose He could have in these delays. I do not know, but I know some day I will. I am learning a lot about myself. How often do I say that I have faith that God can do something and I trust Him with my life, but then I question, worry, and get scared. That’s where I am at right now. Am I really willing to trust Him? I’m working on it. I am still scared, homesick, and worried, but today I’ve been able to breathe a bit more. I pray that tomorrow will be even better and that I can begin to rest in Him.

I am amazed at the strength of Emma and Avery. They both have been amazing through this whole ordeal. Just tonight I was talking to Emma on the phone and telling her how much I missed her. She said, ‘I know Mommy and I miss you, but it’s not your fault and we are ok.” My sweet girls. Oh how I wish I could give them big hugs and kisses right now. But my other sweet girl is by my side right now, sleeping soundly. She’s been full of smiles and laughs today. They’ve been my motivation all day. Tonight we were playing outside before dinner. Then she started whining a bit and I picked her up. She turned and looked around, waved good bye to everyone and blew them kisses. That’s her cue, she was ready to go inside and find some food. It is so funny and wonderful to see her developing and growing. She is worth the fight, the tears, and heartache. So I will keep fighting.