Sigh of Relief

Ok, after having major breakdowns on Thursday, I would like to tell you that Cody and I are ok. I think several of you thought we were going to jump off a cliff, so I’d like to let you know we are doing fine. This is not easy. It is a major emotional roller coaster. Everything that happened Thursday came as a shock, which made it that much more difficult. Cody and I are both exhausted, emotionally and physically. I want nothing more than to be home loving on all 3 of my girls together while cuddling with Cody on the couch. But that is not to be for right now, and we are ok. We are resting in Him. I feel like I’ve finally given the whole situation to the Lord. I am just sitting back and letting Him work out the details. All of my attempts to get things done have failed. So, I am done. A friend sent me this verse on Thursday. “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14 This is exactly how I feel. I am trying to be still and let Him win the battle. I think when this is all said and done it will be so apparent that He and only He got us home that He will get all of the glory. Now don’t take this to mean that I am doing nothing. We have great people fighting and working for us both in Uganda and the US. And both sides gave us tidbits of encouraging news yesterday. We are working on plans for if this continues to drag on. But I am done struggling and fighting my way through this. When God wants this to happen it will, so until then I will be content. I am working on Mama Kits. I am building relationships with people. I’m trying to be an encouragement to other adoptive families. And I am enjoying my time with Mercy in her country.
There are some who think we are a bit crazy. They question why we would put our family through this emotional and financial burden. Why can’t we be grateful for the children we have? How could I leave my husband and girls for this long… especially for a black child? Some of these thoughts have been verbalized to us, some have just been understood. Now to be fair the vast majority of people have been extrememly supportive of us.  But to our critics, I say Mercy is my child. If Emma was seriously ill, I would do everything in my power for her. If Avery was trapped somewhere, I would do all I could to free her. The same goes for Mercy. There are situations where families have to walk away from adoptions….perfectly understandable, yet incredibly painful situations. But I feel 100% in my heart that this is not the case for us. Mercy is our daughter, and she deserves to be treated by us as such. It’s amazing to me how God has given me and Cody such a love for this child. I feel for her exactly as I do for Emma and Avery. Her DNA does not make her a Busby, but our love for her does. So, call me crazy, I don’t mind.